


The Same Deep Water as You

by Etherthires



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Adult Content, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Crane is a bit of a sadist, Depression, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Except less lonely, Explicit Language, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Jervis is mentioned, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, This is literally just how I wanna be in like 4 years from now, fear toxin, lots of awkward situations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-11-28 22:24:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20974043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etherthires/pseuds/Etherthires
Summary: Kailey's just an exhausted student, trying her best to get through her life one day at a time. When she comes across an infamous Gotham Rogue on her way home, her life goes spiraling out of control.✧This is literally just a big ol' self indulgent piece because I'm deeply in love with Jonathan Crane and I was in the mood to write for once. If you wanna like... Imagine yourself in "my" shoes or whatever that's cool too. Might get smutty at some point. We'll see.✧





	1. "Boo."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, because Crane is such a broad character to write, I kinda made my own version of him, taking lots of inspiration from multiple renditions, including some of the fanbase's headcanons and what not. Crane doesn't get to shine as much as I wish he did, so it's kinda hard to write him as it is, but I hope you guy's enjoy it nonetheless. This is just kinda my take on Crane I guess.

Another late night spent in the Gotham University library. She wasn’t sure what time it was; morning maybe? It was still dark outside, but with the chilling breeze as well as the colors in the sky beginning to show themselves, it certainly felt like morning. Her phone was dead and she didn’t even bother to check the time on her laptop before leaving. This was just her life now and she was pretty used to it for the past five and a half years.   
Being a medical student, officially having a degree in Biology and now onto her second year of Med School; Kailey lived a mediocre life, doing well in school yet finding herself with few friends to spend her nights with and with family on the other side of the country, she found a reason to simply focus on school all the more.   
She was pretty… at least when she put effort into her appearance. When it came to school, she felt more of a need to be comfortable than attractive. _ I’m just here to learn, nothing else. _ She often thought.  
Though, with her pale, clear skin, blue eyes, and dark burgundy hair, she still stood out to the normal eye, often being teased as looking like a vampire all throughout her life with a placement of two moles on her neck and her generally dark aesthetic never helping said teasing. 

The walk home from the library was as grim as ever. These _ were _the streets of Gotham after all. It was a cold, mid-October night… or morning. Kailey snuggling up in comfortable, black trench coat with an even more comfortable outfit underneath consisting of more dark colors.  
A yawn left her cold, chapped lips as the caffeine finally began to wear off, her steps across the concrete becoming more dragged. She would have probably been bumping into people left and right had it not been so late. Nonetheless she remained somewhat vigilant, holding her keys between her fingers, and a hand on a bottle of pepper spray in the trench coat’s pocket. 

After roughly fifteen minutes into the walk, she could see her apartment building in sight, a hot sigh of relief erupting from her throat.  
_Finally, I can sleep. _Kailey thought before a man stepped directly into her view, quickly placing his hand in front of her face and saying “Boo.” In a low, almost broken tone.   
Before she could even register what had just happened, before anything could leave the man’s palm, he tumbled to the ground, passed out. Kailey’s azure eyes went wide, any ounce of sleepiness still in her system leaving the moment the situation processed through her head.  
  
_ Scarecrow. _ The man lying before her, only yards away from her apartment building, passed out, was _ Scarecrow_. Although she had only seen photos of him on the television, the mask certainly gave away that this man was very much Jonathan Crane. Once this registered, pale eyes desperately darted from side to side.   
Obviously this man was hurt and considering who exactly he was, she expected no less than Batman, or _ one _of the Bat-people to be around. She froze, the roads were still, only she and the man known as the Scarecrow in sight, the faint sounds of police sirens howling in the distance.

Suddenly her impulsive nature washed over her… after all, she couldn’t just _ leave _him there. Not even if he just tried to spray his fear toxin in her face, not while he was wounded. Kailey was a medical student, and while she couldn’t legally operate on him, she could at least tend to whatever wounds he had so he wouldn’t just die on the concrete.  
And so, Kailey attempted to pick him up. Not particularly bridal-style or anything, just his arm tossed over the smaller woman’s shoulder. It was awkward to say the least, especially with the combination of his height and the fact that he was completely unconscious. Nonetheless, working out on a normal basis had seemed to help plenty in this situation; slowly but surely managing to drag the lanky, motionless body up the apartment steps until she made it to her unit.   
Kailey unlocked her door, shuffling in quickly and moving the man over to the couch where she would finally take off his mask, seeing what not Scarecrow, but Jonathan Crane looked like for the first time.

His hair was a messy dark brown, not dark enough to the point where it almost seemed black, but certainly dark enough to make his pale skin stand out in comparison. His skin was clear despite the obvious knicks and bruising caused by what she could only assume to be Batman, and when she opened his eyelids to see if his eyes were responsive to light, she noticed just how _ blue _they were.   
With his features (mostly his jawline and cheekbones) being as sharp as they were, it was hard to call this man unattractive. Of course, he wasn’t particularly _ conventionally _ attractive either. Crane had an almost uncanny face, with his eyes being somewhat sunken in, his nose rather harsh, and his lips somehow both thin yet full, it was strange. He was somehow attractive yet unsettling at the same time.   
In fact, this even made it somewhat hard to tell just what age he was. She knew he used to be a professor at Gotham University, but this was before her time there, and even then he had apparently been a professor_ right _ after graduating.   
Right now, Kailey could only guess that he was in his mid to late thirties with what little information she had on Crane, and it wasn’t particularly credible information at that. She only knew this much about Crane _ because _of his reputation at Gotham University, after all. Whether or not these rumors were true or not was beyond her. 

Once the woman was done checking up on the condition of Crane’s head, she moved to his upper body. Lifting up his torn, over sized button-up and placing pressure on his ribs. He was skinny, both in a way that implied he didn’t eat enough as well as in a way that implied he was very active; it was a bad mixture to say the least and anyone, doctor or not, could see that. 

After the exam was over, Kailey came to the conclusion that he seemed _ mostly _in check despite some broken ribs and a mild concussion. She would have to try and wake him up in a few hours just to keep his concussion from growing any worse, but otherwise he was in an overall stable condition.   
A sigh left the woman’s lips. There was no point in bringing him upstairs and she _ knew _ that, hell, she probably knew it from the moment he fell to the ground that he probably had no more than a mild head injury yet she brought this criminal, this _ psychopath_, into her home. What was she going to do? Call the police and tell them she’s harboring Scarecrow? That she just wanted to check up on him to see if he would be okay? That her moral compass as a medical student wouldn’t let her just leave this psychopath who attempted to psychologically harm her in an alleyway? Ah yes, those all sounded like perfect excuses for a woman with social anxiety. If she was lucky enough, they’d send her straight to Arkham and call it a day. Any woman crazy enough to willingly bring Scarecrow into her own home obviously wasn’t sane.

What would she do now? The more Kailey thought about it, the more unsettled she became. As she frantically moved about her living room, blue eyes finally landed on the clock on her stove. It was 3:56am, and she had class in roughly five hours. She needed sleep… but there was a psychopath on her couch. And she was the one who put him there.   
More ridiculous ideas rushed through her mind, scared that if she even shut her eyes for a moment the man might awaken only to finally spray that fear toxin directly in her face and leave, not giving so much as a “thank you” before getting the hell out of there. Then another idea, even more ridiculous than the last crossed her mind; what if he woke up and his condition was even _ worse _ than she thought? Would she have to keep him on her couch until she nursed him back to full health?

Her frantic thoughts were soon interrupted by a groan of pain, the first sound Scarecrow had made since falling to that concrete for what felt like only minutes ago. Quickly the woman rushed back to his side, those doctoral instincts (or fight or flight instincts, she wasn’t sure which) kicking in. His eyes began to flutter open, abnormally long eyelashes making his eyes stand out all the more against the blue hues of his irises.  
“Jervis…?” His first word spoken since “Boo.” While Kailey hadn’t the slightest idea of who this “Jervis” man was, it was somehow relieving to know that he was forming coherent thoughts despite just waking up with a concussion.  
“...Kailey. My name is Kailey.” The woman hesitated, eyeing the man closely.  
“You have a concussion and two broken ribs, please don’t strain yourself.” Her confidence grew the more she spoke. Finally she was beginning to sound like a real doctor, something she probably wouldn’t be able to do for another six years. Just the idea of playing the role made her feel better than before, excited even. Hopefully it would stay that way throughout the night.

“...” Crane went silent once more, his head beginning to turn as he nonchalantly observed his surroundings.  
After a moment or two, he finally adjusted himself to sit up, wincing in the process.  
“Kailey, was it? Are you a doctor?” His tone was low, gruff even, which almost felt unfitting for a man of his size. In a sense, just the way he spoke nearly sent shivers down the woman’s spine. It wasn’t as if he had any type of proper accent, in fact he sounded as if he might be a Gotham native, born and raised… yet the deep yet scratchy resonance was something you might hear straight out the mouth of a horror movie antagonist.

His question caused Kailey to pause then, all that confidence from her previous sentence leaving her body almost instantly.  
“A student, actually…” Her words trailed off. At least this hadn’t been a worst case scenario. _ Yet. _

“Interesting.” Was the only word that left his mouth as he continued to observe the apartment patiently, as if he was planning something.  
“Would you be so kind as to tell me why I’m lying on your couch? After I nearly harmed you?” He seemed genuinely curious with his words, blue eyes finally landing on the woman’s own.

“...” Another moment of silence as Kailey collected her thoughts. She was much too exhausted to be having this conversation, even if it was so far going a lot better (and a lot less violent) than she had originally expected.  
“I guess to put it simply, I’m a med student with a heavy conscience and poor impulse control.” A yawn left her lips then.

Blue hues narrowed then, eyeing her figure up and down, carefully observing, _ judging _ the woman. 

“I’m assuming you’ve already called the police, then?” He raised a brow.

“Nope.” 

“Yet you’re aware of my reputation?” 

“I am.”

“Are you frightened?” Crane’s eyes stopped the judging only to respond with a look consisting of mild confusion and extreme interest, furrowing his brows.

“Honestly? I’ve been up since eight in the morning, running on less than five hours of sleep. All the worst has passed and at this point I just want to sleep.” Kailey spoke as _ another _ yawn escaped her lips.  
  
“Hm.” The man made a sound as if the way she spoke affirmed any other questions he might have.  
“And what were you expecting to do once I woke up?”  
  
“I didn’t really think I’d get this far… having poor impulse control while half asleep kinda makes you _ not _ think things through.” She pursed her lips, glancing to her side as if somewhat ashamed by her actions.

Crane was silent, the haze in his eyes making it appear he was in deep thought. 

After a few moments of awkward silence, Jonathan finally spoke up once again, looking at the woman directly into her blue hues, causing a shiver to crawl up her spine.  
“You’re an odd woman… but I can tell you’re not lying. I empathize with you, in fact. And, as much as I loathe to admit it, I am rendered quite defenseless. You have taken my fear toxin and placed it in an area that I am obviously unfamiliar with and, as you mentioned before, I have multiple broken ribs and a minor concussion. Even if I did wish to harm you, it would be in my best interest to not even make an attempt.” 

His words caused Kailey to bite her cheek, her expression obviously growing uncomfortable with the intense eye contact between the pair. She couldn’t even respond, she didn’t know _ how _ to respond. After all, he did just basically admit that he would have made an attempt to harm her had he still had his fear toxin by his side. 

Crane then continued, eyeing the woman intently, back to judging.  
“You’re a smart girl, aren’t you? You mentioned you were currently in Medical School. You live alone… you’re spending your nights doing what? Studying? Reading? You don’t appear to have been out partying. I’m sure you and I both know it was more than impulse that brought me here.” 

His words stung… all of them. It was as if this man psychoanalyzed her within _ moments _ after waking up with a concussion. It was amazing… _ terrifying _ but amazing.  
Her eyes went wide then, the color of her face going from a faint peach to a vibrant pink. She backed away, standing up straight.  
“I… I don’t know what you’re implying, sir. I-I promise I only did this because you were hurt, and my apartment was _ right _ there.” Her voice was shaky but high, like she was flustered, like every embarrassing thing she could imagine happened all at once.   
Kailey placed a hand on her forehead, taking a deep breath as she tried to bring herself down from her mild spout of anxiety. Apparently Crane knew how to instill plenty of fear even without the fear toxin. 

“I...I need to sleep. I don’t care if you stay… leave, whatever. I have class in less than five hours. I’ll… take care of you if you stay, help you heal. But that’s because this is my fault. Goodnight.” A heavy sigh left her lips, her hand trembling as she opened up the door to her room, locking it behind her.  
As she undressed, getting into her pajamas, his words popped into her head. _ “Even if I did wish to harm you, it would be in my best interest to not even make an attempt.” _

They were unsettling at the time yet as she gradually calmed down, they comforted her in an odd way. Like he genuinely did mean he would not make an attempt to harm her.

_So that’s how low the bar I’ve set is, huh? _She thought before collapsing onto her bed, her mind finally drifting into a deep sleep.


	2. Stiff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is out and honestly WAY better than Chapter 1. I dunno when Chapter 3 will be out but considering this is the first time I've felt so much motivation to write, I'm hoping soon. Plus I don't have class tomorrow and I don't currently have homework except for a little bit of studying and reading so 👌👌👌  
Also, I just want to 100% clarify that this "original character" is literally just me, name included and everything. If that wasn't obvious enough. So all the thoughts, ticks, and other things that this character does is genuinely what I do and think. Would I actually react this way if I met a murderer? Probably not but I'm deeply in love with Jonathan Crane so fuck it.

Lazy blue eyes fluttered open after a long night of sleep, a yawn escaping her chapped, drool covered lips.   
Kailey leisurely wiped her face, pulling herself off of her bed as coherent thoughts finally entered her mind.  
_Wait a minute. My alarm isn’t going off._ That was the first thought that popped into her head as she quickly grabbed her phone from the bedside table. It was off and had no signs of turning back on. Apparently she had forgotten to plug her phone in before going to bed last night, making her sleep in, getting the first full night of rest she’d had in _months. _She felt awake for once but that didn’t mean she was happy.  
Throwing her phone back onto the nightstand, Kailey rushed out of her room as anxiety rushed over her, not even caring if the man was still on her couch or not as she ran to the clock on the stove.  
It was 12:48 pm, and her last classes were ending only minutes from now. Her heart felt as though it were about to beat out of her chest, her hands going to her face, burying it in an attempt to herself to calm down.  
  
“Good morning.”   
She heard that deep, unsettling voice from behind her, still on the couch. Apparently he had made himself comfortable because currently, he was reading one of the few books from her bookcase. A bookcase that consisted mostly of horror classics like _Frankenstein_ and _Dracula_, textbooks, and a few random books she seemed to pick up out of curiosity. Crane was reading one of the random books, the name being _Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers_.  
“You’re a lot more morbid than I had originally expected, Miss… Kailey was it? This book is—” 

Crane was immediately cut off by an upset, fully rested Kailey. “How long have you been awake? I-I said I had class at nine, it’s almost one now. You… you made me miss class.”  
She shifted the blame to the man on the couch, sliding to the kitchen floor with her face still buried in her thin hands.

“I don’t particularly think it’s fair of you to blame me. You were the one who put me on your couch and offered to nurse me back to help, were you not? Of course there would be some consequences, and in my defense I had only woken up roughly an hour ago and you had locked your bedroom door, if I recall.”

A loud sigh was heard from the kitchen before Kailey finally stood back up, doing her best to calm down _ again_.  
“You’re right. Of course, you’re right.” She spoke in an almost sarcastic tone, mostly to herself as she began to move back into her room, finally plugging her phone in.   
“I’ll just text one of my classmates. I’ll be fine.” The woman took a few deep breaths as she waited for her phone to finally turn back on. Once she texted a few of her classmates, she moved back to the living room, mentally preparing herself for Crane now that she was wide awake.

“So… you chose to stay.” Kailey pursed her lips awkwardly, eyeing his position on _ her _ couch, holding _ her _book.

“Well I am _wounded_, and as I’m sure you understand, it would be quite hard to move around Gotham when you’re a wanted man.” For once, his tone didn’t sound so harsh, just playful, sarcastic even. She liked it better that way.  
“Truthfully, I appreciate your offer more than you may realize. This may be the perfect kind of place for me to hide from Batman. At least until I’m healed of course… but as long as you don’t draw any attention to yourself, continue going to your classes, living your life… my existence will be a secret.”

The woman before him gave him an uncomfortable stare, soon glancing away at the sudden eye contact.  
“You’re… just going to live on my couch for the next six weeks, then? And I’m just supposed to act as if you don’t exist..?”  
  
“I’m not sure if you have any room to complain. Again, this _ was _ your offer. And I would truthfully say this little offer of yours just might have saved your life. I could simply kill you and use your apartment as a temporary place of residence, but once word gets out that you went missing, I’m sure the Batman would find _ some _ way to connect it to me and my cover would be blown. This way, I can safely focus on my work while I heal and _ you _ get to live.”  
  
Kailey bit her cheek, happy she broke the eye contact when she did. Everything this man said was back to being terrifying… while it sounded like he was thanking her for a moment, the last sentence sent chills down her spine.   
“O… Okay…” She muttered out, doing her best to keep her emotions at bay, doing her best not to act like those words didn’t bother her. For a bit, she’d apparently forgotten that this man was a literal psychopath, and a smart one at that.  
  
“Oh, and Miss Kailey?”   
Her eyes moved back up to meet his.

“I don’t mean to come across as theatrical, but… If you _ do _ find yourself going to the police or telling anyone, I _ will _ know and you _ will _ experience a fate worse than death.” His words, his tone, his _ everything _ came across as empty. As she looked into this man’s eyes, it felt as though there was nothing behind them, nothing for her to look into, causing her to shudder.  
  
Kailey swallowed any sign of weakness, any sign of emotion on her features, gritting her teeth before turning away and walking to the kitchen where she did her best not to have a mental breakdown.  
“I get it. I got the idea the first time.” She sighed, beginning to prepare some “breakfast” for herself despite it being nearly one in the afternoon.  
“I’m… assuming you haven’t eaten anything yet. Can I make you some coffee?"

Crane’s dark, intimidating expression was soon replaced by a seemingly more warm one, offering a smile in Kailey’s direction as he spoke.  
“That would be wonderful actually, thank you.”  
  
After Kailey finished making a cup of coffee for herself, she did the same for Crane. Her hands were shaking as she brought over the mug, finding the situation to be more stressful than she would like to admit.  
“Uh… I’m not sure if you wanted creamer or not, but I’ve got a few flavors in the fridge…?” She nervously placed the mug down on the coffee table in front of him, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“Black is fine, thank you.” He nodded, going back to reading the book he had in hand.

Despite him being up for apparently just over an hour, he seemed as though he was already done… which was ironic considering that was one of the many books she never actually finished. She’d always _ wanted _ to get back to finishing it, but she just constantly found herself either studying or watching something completely mindless, something she wouldn’t have to focus on; just background noise as her brain took a break from all the stress of life. 

Kailey just awkwardly nodded at his words, taking her own coffee and going back to her room for the time being—or so she thought, until she heard his familiar deep voice the moment she took a step into her room.

“This is _ your _ home. Please don’t feel the need to lock yourself in your room. As I mentioned before, just act as if I weren’t here... Or perhaps you can openly acknowledge and accept that I’ll be spending the next six weeks on your couch and we can acquaint ourselves.” Jonathan spoke, not looking away from the book until the last statement left his lips.  
It was hard to tell if the grin on his lips had any ill intention behind it or if he was being sincere, like he wanted to get to know the host of the house or if he made that comment solely to get a rise out of the woman.

He was unreadable at times, and this was one of them… but Kailey wasn’t particularly in school to study behavior; she was there to study anatomy, to become a forensic pathologist, something that Gotham would continue to need plenty of, even in the next six or so years.  
Thoughts then began to drift into her head; thoughts of her future. She had wanted to be a pathologist for _years_ and she was one of the few kids that kept their major the same throughout their entire college career. To say the least, she was motivated for once in her life, and it was because of the idea that she would finally succeed, make her parents proud, prove them _wrong_. She would finally become something once she finished Medical School… yet her heavy conscience and lack of impulse control ended up putting her life on the line. She’d probably die before she could be the award winning pathologist she dreamed of, before she got to do the only thing in life that was really even driving her to live at the moment.

“Hello?” His voice brought her back to earth. Currently, she was just standing in her bedroom’s doorway and staring into space. She could only imagine how strange that may look.

“... Sorry. I zoned out for a moment.” The woman apologized with a sigh before finally turning back around, facing Jonathan.  
“You might be right. About acquainting ourselves, that is. I… uh, don’t particularly think I can just live like you don’t exist while you’re going to be sleeping on my couch and eating my food. You kind of… stand out, no offense.”

Crane gave a faint, low chuckle at her words, placing the book on the coffee table as if telling her he was done for the time being.  
“None taken. It’s not as though there isn’t an elephant in the room. I might be _ supposedly _ criminally insane according to the Dark Knight, but I am most certainly not dumb.”

“That, you are not…” Kailey mumbled, giving a singular nod before hesitantly moving to sit down on the opposite end of the couch, her coffee in hand. 

“So uh… do you… prefer to be called Scarecrow? Or… should I call you Dr. Crane? O-Or Jonathan…?” She muttered out, looking not at him but through him, trying not to be rude yet also doing her best not to look at him in the eyes again.  
  
“I wouldn’t usually suggest you call me Jonathan considering we’re hardly so much as acquaintances, but you’re not my patient… or student, so Dr. Crane seems a tad harsh as well. I suppose whatever is most comfortable for you, Miss… Kailey was it? And I’m assuming you’re alright with how I address you?” 

Kailey bit the inside of her cheek, giving another curt nod in response to his question.  
“I’ll uh… just call you Doctor, okay? I’m a little used to it considering what I’m currently studying… so ya know.”

“Whatever is most comfortable, Miss Kailey. Again, this is _ your _ home after all.”   
  
She just sipped her coffee silently, her eyes staring into her mug as she found herself unsure what to say once again.

“I must say I’m quite surprised at your previous statement, though.”

Kailey froze then, eyes shooting back up at him, forgetting for the moment that she shouldn’t look at him directly in the eyes. “H-Huh? What did I say?”

He gave a thin grin at her obvious tenseness before he continued his explanation.

“Nothing bad. I’m just pleasantly surprised you actually knew my name is all. Most of Gotham seems to know me as “Scarecrow” and nothing more, it’s as though it’s easier for them to think about me as a _ thing _ rather than a person. Not that I mind, it simply means that what I’m doing is working. They _ fear _ me.” He sounded confident, proud even in the end of his little explanation. Had he not been a complete psychopath, Kailey might find herself appreciating the way he talked so confidently; the same way she wanted to be able to talk about her own work someday. 

“Well, I’m in Gotham U’s Medical Program, it’s hard _ not _ to know your name when you’re probably the most famous—or infamous—professor there.”

“Ah. It makes me wonder what you’ve heard.” Crane’s smile dropped. He didn’t really seem to have all that fond of memories from Gotham University. His supposed first murder _ was _ his old professor, after all. The thought caused Kailey to tense up again, remaining silent.

“Enough about me, though. I’ll admit, I’m very curious to know more about the student who willingly brought a cold-blooded murderer into her home because of an apparent “heavy conscience,” as you put it. Who are you, Kailey? And why didn’t you call the police the moment I fell to the pavement? I want you to tell me _ all _ about yourself.” Kailey wasn’t even looking at him yet she could feel his pale eyes pouring into her soul. He seemed to be back to his regularly scheduled terrifying, psychologist self, with his voice sending shivers down her spine once more.

She gulped at his words, nervously gritting her teeth before she managed to speak again.  
“I know this isn’t much of an excuse for that last part, but my phone _ was _ dead, in my defense…

“But uh… I’m a second year Medical Student at Gotham University, I have a degree in biology, and it’s my dream job to become a forensic pathologist. In fact, it’s been my dream job since High School. I’m–uh, apparently kinda weird and I’m way too nice for my own good, which... is sorta why you were put on my couch in the first place.” Kailey sighed as she further thought about her sad, lonely little life, continuing.

“I… obviously live alone, I don’t have a lot of friends because I’m terrible at starting conversation and I only transferred to Gotham U’s Medical Program just last year. Most of my family lives down south, so I’m pretty fucking lonely…   
“So basically, this really is the perfect situation for you, Doctor. Lonely, depressed girl full of social anxiety that you can totally psychoanalyze and torture for fun while you’re bored and waiting to heal? It’s perfect.”

Crane furrowed his brows at the sudden snarkiness coming from the girl, so far she’d been a nervous wreck. The last thing he expected was her to be talking back in such a disparaging tone. Not that he minded, it was interesting to see the woman finally show some true colors.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” He commented, just as snarky.

“I am curious, though. You mentioned you had social anxiety? And that you were depressed? Have you been diagnosed?” It sounded like the musings of a former psychologist came rushing out, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Kailey only furrowed her brows back, also surprised by his sudden change in tone.  
“Uh… yeah. I take meds for it, so it’s not all that bad anymore, but when you’re put in situations like this it’s kind of hard not to want to have a mental breakdown.” 

To put it simply, this conversation made her ridiculously uncomfortable and with the way she answered his question with such hesitance, it was pretty noticeable. Why was she even talking about her psych with this maniac? Why would she even open up to that extent? He was probably just gonna use that as a way to manipulate her anyways. 

_ Nice going. Oversharing again. And this time at the cost of your sanity. _

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the way Crane adjusted himself, sitting comfortably back onto the couch and crossing his long, lanky legs as he spoke.  
“Interesting. That much is _ not _ ideal. As in, harming a woman like yourself might weigh heavy on my conscience.” He admitted, putting a hand on his chin and making it seem as if he were in deep thought.

“Despite the popular belief that I’m a complete lunatic, I do feel sympathy, and maybe a bit of empathy in your case. I was a similar student to you, ironically. Maybe that’s why.” Crane shrugged, staring into space. It almost appeared as though he were talking to himself more so than to the girl beside him. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact it felt like a bit of a relief not having Crane staring so intently at the poor girl.

“I… can kinda believe that. I _ had _ heard you were really into reading and studying from all the rumors. Maybe that’s why I don’t really have any friends. I remind everyone of all your red flags.” Was she _ really _ still talking so casually with this psychopath? And empathizing with him at that? Maybe her psych was more fucked up than she realized.

Crane’s eyes shifted back to her, though his gaze seemed much less harsh than before. Like he was simply confused by the girl’s statement yet still felt for her.

“You must be exaggerating. You’re a beautiful young woman, even I can see that. You have _ at least _ that much going for you.”  
  
“Eh, you say that but it’s been long over a year since I transferred and I still haven’t got a single friend in Gotham. I think people are kind of intimidated by me, actually.” There was something calming about the way he was now speaking, like he really _ was _ just a psychologist having a nice conversation with her, comparing and contrasting their experiences in going to the same school despite him being her obvious senior. As much as she wanted to stop herself from going on, being alone for so long and only having the occasional call from her family as a form of genuine conversation made this own conversation feel good. Better than she would like to admit.

“Hm. I suppose that would be your social anxiety disorder, I’m sure it’s twisting your perspective of your peers into something far worse than it actually is.” He mused.  
“Some call social anxiety disorder a “social phobia,” did you know that? I’m sure I could help you conquer that phobia with a smaller dose of my fear toxin. The purpose of my fear toxin is… technically to do quite the opposite, but I’m no amateur. I could help you if you let me.”

Kailey made a face at that offer, her finally comfortable expression twisting back into one of extreme discomfort.  
“I’ll… uh… have to decline your offer, sorry. I’m sure you know why.”

Crane let out a faint, almost genuine chuckle in contrast to his sadistic laugh from before. Maybe he really did empathize with Kailey enough to not want to harm her. It seemed doubtful, but maybe it was her wishful thinking that made her want to see some kind of good in him. He was a doctor after all, and Kailey did hold a great deal of respect for people of this profession.

“Of course. Though my offer will remain open as long as I’m your guest.”

Kailey’s uncomfortable expression twisted to that of an awkward smile, giving him another curt nod.  
“I’ll keep that in mind… thank you, I guess?”  
  
He responded back with that thin smile before Kailey began to speak again, her voice sounding a bit unsure of itself, weak even, like she felt as though she would regret everything she was about to say.

“Can I just say something…? Y-You’ll have to excuse me for oversharing and maybe saying something that might offend you—or maybe not at all, but I haven’t had a decent conversation with anyone in a long time and well… _you_, _Scarecrow_, are currently on my couch, and I can’t act like I don’t know who you are and _what_ _you’ve done_.” The woman paused, gulping before finally gaining the confidence to look at him in the eyes again. She seemed more excited than before, genuine even. And even though her words might come across as harsh or even just straight up _odd_, Jonathan couldn’t help but be amused by her intensity.

“But… ever since I moved to Gotham, it was kinda inevitable not to hear about all the “supervillains” around here. But… you kinda stuck out to me? Maybe it’s because I’m a big fan of horror… and I actually kinda really enjoy getting scared, which… would actually also explain why you’re on my couch currently—but that’s not the point. 

“I-I just wanted to kinda say I… respect you? If that makes any sense? N-Not in the way that I think killing people is acceptable—because obviously it’s not. But when I was told about you for the first time, you didn’t scare me in the slightest. Ironically, I wanted to hear all about you. You… all your work, it’s really something straight out of a horror movie. You’re amazing, your work is amazing… and in some twisted way, I think I aspire to be as successful as you are… in pathology, of course. And not in a way that harms people, but helps them.

“A-And… you’re not the only one. Pamela Isley, Harleen Quinzel, Victor Fries. You’re all… amazing. You were all put in terrible circumstances—with you potentially being an exception, because I truthfully don’t know much about your life except for the whole Professor stuff—but you all have brilliant minds is what I’m trying to say. A-And _ somehow _coming to Gotham, seeing Doctors like you thrive in things that seem like they should be impossible gives me… hope? Yeah. Hope, I guess.”

Kailey’s face twisted and turned while she spoke, eyes lighting up with her voice growing ever more confident. It’s like she was talking to one of her idols or something.   
This surprised Jonathan, however. The last thing he was expecting from this girl was genuine respect. Truthfully, he expected this girl to almost detest him for the way he misused his intelligence, to cause chaos rather than using it to help people. But it was apparently quite the opposite. With the way she spoke so enthusiastically to Crane, it was easy to see she was completely genuine. She really was too nice for her own good, apparently. Sympathizing with evil people like himself would most definitely be the end of her.

“Uh… sorry about that. I got a little too into what I was saying. Hopefully you don’t wanna kill me more than you already probably do.” The woman finally looked away, noticing his silence as she joked, half serious.

“Please, don’t apologize.” Jonathan finally spoke up, moving his beady blue eyes back onto her.

“But you may need to understand something, girl.” The sudden strictness of his voice caught her off guard, her brows furrowing as she hesitated to look at him again.   
He seemed upset, or maybe the fine lines of his skin made it seem that way. Either way, he most certainly seemed at least more serious than before.  
  
“Obviously I cannot speak for those other three, but what I did was the result of constant torment throughout my life. I feared _ everyone _ and _ everything _ for the majority of my life. I was powerless because of my torment and I was tired of being the victim. Taking those peoples’ lives… instilling them with the terror they made _ me _ feel seconds before their deaths was pure bliss. That… power over someone becomes addicting, and that may make me a sick man according to some, but… I do what I do because I enjoy it, Miss Kailey. I enjoy instilling fear into abusers and victims alike. You should _ not _ sympathize with me.”

Kailey stared at him for a moment, not seeming to be upset, nervous, or even scared like she had been previously. She seemed… empathetic of all things; sad blue eyes connecting with his stern ones.

“Doctor… I don’t know what happened to you, and I can’t even begin to imagine the kinds of things you felt. But… I understand to an extent. Obviously, things turned out differently for me and I don’t condone murder of any sort, but I have been _ constantly _ pushed around, manipulated, and traumatized. I use to fear everything too… _ everything_, so I understand the feeling of wanting to get back at those people. Maybe I would never go as far as killing anyone, and maybe you’re able to do some pretty terrible shit without feeling any remorse… but what I’m trying to say is… you’re not the only one whose felt powerless. Call me an idiot for sympathizing—even empathizing with you, but I’m sure you’re not as terrible of a man as people may want to believe.” 

The poor girl poured her heart out with that, sincerity lacing every statement. Despite being basically held hostage by this man, she really did feel for him; Not in the way that one might compare to Stockholm Syndrome, but in a genuine manner. Maybe it was her fascination of his work that made her feel so intensely about it, but it was genuine. Truly and utterly genuine. 

“Tch.” Crane made a sound before turning away, now definitely upset.

“I don’t need a child speaking to me as though they’re my therapist. Especially not one who brought a murderer into their home because of their supposed lack of impulse control.” 

His voice came out with venom, hitting the woman right where it hurt. Her face dropped, darkening drastically into a vibrant pink as she looked away. She was obviously embarrassed now, and not in the cute way.

“Y-You’re right. I’m sorry…” Her voice trailed off into an awkward silence. 

After a few moments, Kailey finally spoke up again, her tone laced with anxiety.  
“I… I should probably get started on catching up on what I missed today. I… I’m sorry again. If you need anything, I’ll be in my room.” She sighed, getting off the couch.

“Do what you must.” He commented stubbornly, seemingly shooing her out of the room as she left.


	3. Entertainment (or lack there of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get out, but this chapter just kept getting further and further from the end the more I wrote so it just took FOREVER to finish lmao  
Either way it's finally done. Just another weird relationship-building chapter. The spicy and fun stuff should be happening somewhat soon as long as school and stuff doesn't get too busy uwu

It being roughly a week since the pair had their little one-sidedly heartfelt chat. For the past week, Crane seemed to take care of himself, icing his ribs and keeping himself comfortable with reading the books (yes, even the textbooks) Kailey had had on her bookshelf. Kailey lived her life, having the same schedule of school, studying, sleep then repeat; with any time she really had _ not _ studying or in school, she spent leisurely locked in her room where she sat on her laptop doing god knows what.  
Crane didn’t care and for that reason, he hardly did so much as speak to her despite seeing her so frequently.   
Kailey on the other hand would constantly try and offer things here and there, making him coffee every morning whether he was awake or not, keeping an extra towel out beside her shower in case he wanted to wash up, even going out and buying him a cheap little toothbrush for him to be able to brush his teeth. And while it seemed as though he very well noticed these kind manners, using the towels and toothbrush and always having an empty mug beside him when she got home from class… he never once gave her so much as a thank you. 

It was for that reason that day in and day out, Kailey felt a constant state of unease. He had been at least _ somewhat _ talkative those first couple of hours into meeting, going so far as even suggesting that the pair get acquainted with each other before Kailey nearly locked herself in her room, so why was he being so stubborn?

Kailey _ wanted _ to speak with him again, to have a real conversation, but just the tenseness in the air caused her to hide up in her room without even greeting him.   
Today was no different; it was around 1:30pm when she got home from her classes, unlocking the door to find Crane finishing up another book on her bookshelf. He had been completely enamored with the book it seemed, not doing so much as flinching or even giving her a glance once she entered the home.   
For a moment, Kailey gave a good stare, studying his mannerisms, the way his eyes scanned the page with such momentum, the way he flipped the page so harshly… it was something she could probably find herself watching for quite a while and she wasn’t particularly sure why. The only reason she could really muster up was that perhaps her admiration for the man had grown since their little chat, but even that should be an absurd explanation. 

Noticing that the Doctor was on his last page, Kailey soon snapped out of her enamored little stare, beginning to move back into her room so she wouldn't have to deal with the awkward tension of him acknowledging her yet ignoring her.   
But of course just before her pale hand could reach the doorknob, she was cut off by his familiar low, rough tone.   
“Ahem.”

The woman froze in her steps, her head gradually craning behind her.  
“...Yes?” She muttered out, voice full of uncertainty.

“I do hate to interrupt your obviously _ busy _ schedule…” His voice was laced with sarcasm, making the sudden contact with her all the more a slap to the face.

“But I was simply wondering if you had any other books that were available for me to read? It appears I’ve read all the books on that measly bookshelf of yours and well… that has been my only form of entertainment since arriving here. I would rather run some experiments if it were at all possible, but not only have you hidden my fear toxin, but your home isn’t particularly an ideal lab.” He admitted, letting out a heavy sigh as if he were annoyed by the lack of “entertainment,” as he put it.

Kailey slowly turned around as he spoke, her face already appearing to have a vibrant blush on it. She was as meek as when they had first chatted, her eyes steering away from his intense blue ones.  
“I… kinda donated most of my old books before moving, so… probably not. I can pick some up next time I go to the library though..?” She offered, nervously beginning to pick at her nails to keep her mind busy.

“Hm. And may I ask when that might be? As much as I appreciate the sole amount of sleep I’ve been getting, that is not how I wish to spend the next few weeks.”

Kailey bit her cheek as she thought about it, not actually sure when that would be.  
“Uh… I could stop by tomorrow after class, I guess.” 

An audible sigh left Crane’s lips, like he was frustrated with that answer. “And what do you plan for me to do in the meantime?

The woman froze at his apparent exasperation, her nerves causing her to chew on her cheek a bit harder. “I… I’m not sure.”  
She thought about it for a moment as she sat there in silence, still avoiding eye contact at all costs.  
“I… have a lot of movies? Horror movies especially? It’s almost Halloween, so maybe you could watch some of those?”

While Kailey refused to look into his eyes, she didn’t need to notice his eyes rolling into the back of his head for her to know that the doctor was annoyed.

_ Another great suggestion, Kailey. He really seemed to love that one. _

“I don’t particularly like Horror movies, Miss Kailey. They’re cliche and often made in very poor taste. The ones of the early 20th century weren’t terrible, but I’m very much assuming you mean the modern ones.”

Now it was Kailey’s turn to sigh, her lips pursing as she took that insult straight to heart.  
“Have… you ever really watched a modern Horror Movie, though?” She uttered out in resistance to his words.

“Hm? You must speak up.”

With a sharp exhale, Kailey brought her head up to really _ talk _ to him, unlike before where she hung her head and avoided his gaze without hesitation. Now, while she still appeared nervous and her face still flushed red, she still seemed more confident than before. Apparently insulting one of her favorite movie genres brought back some kinda confidence.

“I was just asking… if you’d ever really _ seen _ a modern horror movie before? I-I mean there’s some really good ones, some that are even based off of stories you’ve probably read! There’s some great psychological horror movies too, and I know you’re a psychologist s-so I feel like you’d appreciate those the most! If you just gave some a chance, I’m sure you wouldn’t hate them..?”   
Once she was done speaking, she braced herself for some kinda scolding, glare, or _ something _… but it never came. Kailey just heard another sigh, causing her to cautiously look back up at him.

“I… truthfully don’t very well remember the name of the movie that I had watched to make me form such an opinion… so you may be right about that. Though, I have never been much of a fan of film in the first place, so I am quite critical of what I do watch.”  
The man admitted, sucking up only a small ounce of pride to disclose said admission. 

“I suppose even bad film might be entertaining as well. All I ask is that you give me something to keep my brain stimulated.”

Hearing him sound so much more willing put a grin on Kailey’s lips, her blue eyes lighting up the more she thought about all the movies she could show him.  
“O-Okay! Great! I collect them, so you could read the synopses and pick a few for us to watch tonight! J-Just let me get some homework done and we can start!”

Crane was taken aback by her sudden interest, furrowing his dark brows as he scanned the woman’s features, wondering why she even would _ wish _ to watch these movies with him.  
Ironically, most people thought watching horror movies together was seen as an almost intimate act, especially considering she would be sitting beside him, in a dark room, watching movies in which plenty of couples would see as an excuse to jump into the others’ arms when they became frightened. While none of these ideas passed through either of their heads, Crane most definitely found her excitement odd. 

“I was mostly assuming you were just going to let me watch the films by myself and you lock yourself back into your room as you do most nights. Is there a reason you wish to watch them with me so badly?” His curiosity got the better of him.

Hearing these words caused Kailey’s excitement to dwindle a bit, her lips pursing as her eyes shifted to the side.   
“Not particularly no… I just thought it’d be fun to rewatch these movies and see how you like them. If you wanted to watch them alone, I certainly wouldn’t stop you… I just kinda wanna watch em' too, ya know?”

“Hm. Fine. Please don’t feel the need to rush yourself. I’ll do my best to find something else to keep me busy in the meantime.”

Blue eyes lit right back up at his words. She knew he felt somewhat empathetic for the girl, especially with how he sounded so understanding with her homework. Nonetheless, that faint tinge of sincerity in his voice caused her face to heat up a tiny bit, a sincere, warm smile being sent in his direction.

“Thank you! All the movies are all on the bookshelf too, pick out a few and I should be done in a couple hours! A-And don’t forget, my home is your home! So mess around with whatever you want as long as you don’t do something illegal!” She blurted out in an awkward yet excited jumble of words, rushing into her room and closing the door behind her.  
  
For the next three or so hours, Crane kept himself busy by doing some writing. He noticed the girl had plenty of notes, paper, and writing utensils just lying around, so he did a bit of note-taking, writing on the experiences he was witnessing and the seemingly strange psyche of the girl that was his host. He wrote all about their first experiences, the way she opened up to him, and all the in-between. When he heard the bedroom door open up and the girl come out, he finished up his writing, noting that “the girl wishes to watch some modern horror films with me, she appears to be excited despite the aforementioned tension from our previous conversation. I do not wish to speak to her about it any further, but I cannot deny that I do feel for her. She reminds me of myself, somewhat. I am curious to see how this will play out.”  
  
Crane picked up the multiple pages of notes consisting of his experiences of the past week, and began messily folding them up before shoving them into his pocket.  
While Kailey was curious to know what he had written, those thoughts only briefly passed before she noticed the three movies Crane had picked out spread out on her coffee table. Her eyes lit up at the names, one of which being among her favorites; Re-Animator, Carrie, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. 

“Oh shit, you picked Re-Animator?” Her smile only grew as she picked up the blu-ray, scanning it and wondering what it was that stuck out to the man. 

“Well, I’ve read the story in which it was based off of multiple times now, once including my time spent here. The same goes for _ Carrie_, though I picked that last one, the Nightmare one, in an attempt to change things up a bit. I do hope they don’t disappoint.” He let out a faint sigh, as if watching these movies might be a drag on his end.

“They shouldn’t! You actually picked some pretty popular ones here… except for Re-Animator, but that one is actually one of my favorites _ so _ I still hope it doesn’t disappoint all too much.” She offered a kind smile before moving on to the kitchen, shuffling through her cabinets.

“I’m making popcorn if you want any? I only eat kettle-corn though, so it might not be Movie-theater quality.”   
The girl seemed a bit more laid-back, no longer a nervous wreck, much to Crane’s pleasant surprise. Maybe it was the idea that she got to watch her favorite movies with someone that calmed her down so much, maybe it was the fact that he spoke to her again for the first time in almost a week; either way it was nice to have her warm personality back, even if Crane wouldn’t admit it.

“Popcorn would be wonderful, thank you.” He gave a nod before moving back onto his spot on the couch, wincing thanks to his unhealed ribs as he sat back down.  
  
“Also, did you want to watch it in any particular ord—” Kailey turned her head back around to see Crane wincing, causing her to stop in her words.  
“Have… you been taking care of those broken ribs? You still look like you’re in a lot of pain over there?”  
  
Jonathan adjusted his body a bit to where he could no longer feel the sharp pain of his broken ribs, letting out a pained breath of air.  
“It’s nothing I’m not used to, Miss Kailey. Please, just let us start the films.”

Kailey pursed her lips at his words before moving over to her freezer and grabbing an ice-pack, wrapping it up in a towel and moving back over to the couch.  
“You should at least ice them… you’re a doctor, you should know better.” She gave him an almost sad look then, blue eyes drifting away from his face.  
  
“...” He was silent for a moment before he finally took the ice-pack from her hands, another sigh escaping his thin lips.  
“If you stop pestering me about it, fine.”  
  
Her face loosened up a bit then, moving over to the bathroom and grabbing some over the counter anti-inflammatory drugs from her medicine cabinet, bringing those to him as well.  
“I’ll stop bothering you if you take these every eight hours, okay?”  
  
“Fine… fine. May we proceed with the films already?”   
Crane begrudgingly took the bottle from her hand as well, dry swallowing two pills on the spot.

Kailey’s lips curled back into a smile once he did so, grabbing the now popped popcorn and placing that on the coffee table before proceeding to set up the movie. Assuming that Crane didn’t care what movie went first, Kailey started with _ Carrie,_ a movie that was highly regarded by critics and horror fans alike. As long as Crane wasn’t any worse than the average movie critic, he should like the movie. Emphasis on _ should._

As the movie began, Kailey sat on the other side of the couch just as before when they had their first “chat.”   
Kailey was fixated on the movie only seconds in while Crane was… surprisingly just as fixated. It was for that reason that, despite some still prominent tension in the air, it still wasn’t all that awkward for the pair.   
It was after a few minutes that Kailey had finally grabbed the bowl of popcorn and placed it on the cushion between them. Crane took this as a queue that it was alright to eat as well, their hands briefly touching every so often yet neither of them thinking anything of it.  
The pair sat on the couch in silence, only the sound of the movie and the quiet crunching of popcorn filling the room.

Little did Kailey know, you could compare this movie similar to that of Crane’s life. Carrie’s abusers weren’t all that different to that of Crane’s, both in home life and school life. Even the betrayal of Carrie’s crush was similar to that of an experience Crane had.   
To put it simply, it was easy to say that seeing Carrie get away with so much bloody vengeance was satisfying in Crane’s eyes, and when the movie was over… he seemed pleased.

He wasn’t smiling, but behind his circular glasses there was a familiar glint in his blue eyes. Kailey couldn’t put a finger on _ where _ she had seen that glint previously, but she certainly got the feeling that it wasn’t a bad thing.  
As the credits rolled around, she got up from the couch to grab the next disk, ejecting the last one and putting _ A Nightmare on Elm Street _ on. Before starting, she went to refill the popcorn bowl, turning on a few lights in the process.  
“Any thoughts you wanna say before starting this next movie..?”  
  
“It was a good adaptation to the book.” Was all he said, as stubborn as ever.  
  
A faint sigh left the woman’s lips, though she couldn’t help but assume that was the best comment she was probably going to get on one of these movies. If only he had picked _ American Psycho _ or _ The Shining_… then maybe she could get into a conversation about it. Unfortunately, _ Carrie _ was one of the movies she had not actually read the book of, meaning even if she wanted to have a long conversation about the movie, she would run out on material compared to him. With that in mind, she jumped to another subject.

“It’s still pretty early, I could order something for us to eat if you wanted? I know I don’t have much around the house, but it’ll be on me?”

“I’m just fine with the popcorn, Miss Kailey.”

She pursed her lips as another stubborn reply made its way to her ears.  
_ No wonder he’s so thin. _   
Her blue eyes eyed him carefully before she grabbed a water from the fridge. If he wasn’t going to eat, at least he could stay hydrated. He was still wounded even if he didn’t seem to want to acknowledge that, and he wasn’t going to heal any faster if he didn’t get _ some _ kinda substance in him. 

Once the popcorn was readied, she shut the lights back off and tossed the water bottle over to Crane. Considering he wasn’t expecting it, it bounced out of his hands a few times before he safely caught it, a slight glare being sent in Kailey’s direction as if to warn her not to do that again. 

“Gotta stay hydrated, Doctor’s orders.” She quipped, a short chuckle leaving her lips as she got comfortable.

Crane furrowed his brows at this, finding himself constantly surprised by her actions. He _glared_ at her, a venomous glare… yet she smiled and laughed it off. Was he losing his touch? Or was this girl simply that odd?   
These thoughts would continuously fill his head for the next few weeks, but for now he simply wanted to finish up with this night, to get it over with. Despite the fact that he found himself enjoying the first movie, this night seemed to grow evermore draining on his introverted self. Yet even for the psychopath it was hard to tell this puppy-eyed student that he wished to turn in for the night.   
Despite Crane acting as if he hadn’t even paid the smallest ounce of attention to Kailey, he kept a very close eye on her; It was for this reason that he noticed that she was smiling for the first time since that heartfelt talk.   
Perhaps he could wait just a tad longer. After tonight, he could go back to his regular routine of reading on her couch, refusing to say a word to her unless it was either dire, or it would benefit him. Perhaps he could even convince her to let him do some testing again if he did this one little favor for her? The possibilities were endless, and he _was_ quite a <strike>manipulator</strike> charmer after all.

“Perhaps we can watch that…_ Re-Animator _ now and the other on another night? I’m growing a bit tired myself, and as you know, a wounded man needs his rest.”  
He spoke up only a moment before Kailey was about to press the play button.

While she wanted to keep her favorite for last, she couldn’t help but be elated that he wanted to watch it now rather than later.  
“Of course! I think I’d prefer that anyway!” She jumped off the couch to change out the movie, that shit-eating grin taking hold of her lips as thoughts about showing this man her favorite Horror Movie; The same man that she had ironically compared to Herbert West multiple times in her own mind. While his personality was a tad more introverted than the infamous doctor she had read up on, she still certainly couldn’t help but find ticks here and there that she would compare to one of her favorite fictional characters.

“I-I think you’ll like this one a lot. It’s really gory and it’s got a bunch of medical stuff in it, and it’s a pretty good adaptation of the original story! It _ is _ kinda goofy at times but… don’t let that throw you off! I promise it’s good, i-it’s my favorite for a reason!”   
Words just flooded her mouth and being a nervous wreck looking for her _ favorite Doctor’s _ approval of her _ favorite movie _ of her _ favorite genre _ wasn’t particularly helping; even if she was the happiest she’d apparently been in quite a while.  
_ Favorite Doctor? _She paused from her own thoughts, causing her to finally go quiet. She dwelled on that thought for a moment before shaking it off. 

“Sorry. I’m just excited. I’ll start the movie.” 

Crane observed her for a moment then, noticing the shift in her tone before and after the pause. He would have time to think about that later, but for now he just wanted to get the film over with.   
“Please do.” He gave a low reply before turning back to the television screen.

As the movie started up, Kailey’s eyes had already been transfixed on the television screen, a careful hand moving to the bowl of popcorn as the film’s exposition played out.

It wasn’t until the scene where Herbert West had re-animated the cat that the woman’s blue eyes slowly shifted to Crane. She watched him closely for quite a few moments, hoping that, despite his strict and unmoving expression, she would be able to find out what he was thinking. Of course, it was to no avail, yet for some reason… she kept staring, her eyes now transfixed on Crane’s features rather than her favorite movie.

“I do hope there’s something on my face, Miss Kailey.” It was his familiar growl of a voice that finally snapped her out of the trance, snark and annoyance lacing his words as he turned his head to her, raising a dark brow.

It was as if on queue her face lit up in rosy pink, her vision immediately shifting back to the television as if she hadn’t totally been caught staring. While there were words in her mind, in the back of her throat even, that wanted to escape her lips, they fell short as her mouth opened up only for air to make its way out.  
“...” She shut her mouth, coming to the conclusion that explaining herself would only interrupt the movie further, which was the _ last _ thing she wanted.

Only the sound of the television and quiet crunches of the popcorn filled the air again, no awkward staring to interrupt the movie, no quips in response to said staring; it was just the movie and the two on the couch that were now finally paying no attention to anything but the television screen. While Kailey could hardly focus on her favorite movie, she made a point not to make that much apparent, her eyes still heavily concentrated on the screen while thoughts wandered throughout her mind with the speed of a bullet.

_ He kinda looks like an older Herbert… which is a little weird… mostly because before I even knew what Scarecrow… or Doctor Crane looked like under the mask, I always kinda compared them. I guess they’re both mad scientists—or mad doctors? That doesn’t matter. Either way, that's probably not a good thing… Herbert apparently looked at people like potential experiments, waiting for them to die or just realizing he might as well kill them himself. Doctor Crane probably thinks like that too… right? I mean. He’s branded as a psychopath for a reason. I know he mentioned that it would weigh heavy on his conscience to hurt me but what if he doesn’t think scaring people really harms them? God. This is fucked up. This is really fucked up… and kinda cool—maybe it’s a tad terrifying—But actually really cool. I’ve read all the headlines about Scarecrow, all the newspaper articles, and maybe that’s a little obsessive but—oh god...what if he actually uses his fear gas on me? Shouldn’t I be terrified? I mean, it’s not like he knows where it is right now but… I should honestly be terrified. Fear-stricken. But I’m not. What the hell’s wrong with me? Why do I even keep staring at him anyways? He’s twice my age and well. A psychopath, so that should probably be the deal breaker. But he also kinda looks and acts like one of my favorite fictional characters. In which said fictional character is as well, not particularly neurotypical either. But also that’s not important. Herbert West is a fictional character. He’s not real. Doctor Crane is a genuine, real life, cold blooded murderer. Has killed probably way more than Herbert West, a fictional character, ever has. I need to get that through my thick skull, even if he is… kinda attractive. And forced to stay on my couch for the next couple of weeks. Wait—he’s a sadist isn’t he? Like a genuine sadist. Like would bring me to the brink of death with a creepy grin on his face—oh FUCK. That’s actually really hot. Fuck. Okay. Wait a minute, calm down Kailey. He’s right next to you. Pay attention to the movie. It’s your favorite movie. Don’t think about Crane. He’s a psychopath, he will absolutely kill you, and you really need to start separating real life from fiction. _

As Kailey’s head ran from one thought to the next, the rosy blush on her face became increasingly noticeable, her heart beating out of her chest.   
Believe it or not, she’d been having these same kinds of thoughts for the past week, which was partially the reason she had immediately ran to her room the moment she got home from class. While the silence between the two hurt her to an extent, even she realized at some point that it was probably for the best. Yet she just _had _to go and offer to show him some horror movies when he ran out of books. She _could _have just ran to the library and gotten him a few books to hold him over. But nope; and now she was sitting on the other side of the couch, a nervous, flustered mess because of her own strange thoughts while he silently sat there and watched her favorite horror movie. 

Taking a deep breath, blue eyes were forced on the screen where it just so happened the climax of the movie was beginning, a part of the story that was luckily her favorite. Herbert finally snapped, killing Dr. Hill and cutting off his head with a shovel, only to separately re-animate the body and the head. This scene was enough to draw all of her attention back, her heartbeat slowing back to a normal rate as the movie finally managed to bring her back to earth and out of her head. Her skin was still hot to touch, her face still flushed and clammy, but at least she was no longer currently a nervous mess. 

For the rest of the movie, the two watched in silence, no more glances from Kailey and no more popcorn left to munch on. It was when the movie finally rolled to credits that a familiar voice finally spoke up; and it surprisingly wasn’t the flustered girl’s who had been so intent on figuring out if he liked the movie or not. 

“That was… surprisingly amusing. Not entirely accurate to the original story, but certainly a good adaptation despite that.” He gave a nod, his beady eyes still scanning the screen. 

“So you liked it?” Her blue eyes darted to his face, forgetting that the blush on her skin was still prominent.

“It was amusing.” Was all he responded with, his own gaze finally moving back onto her where he couldn’t help but notice the flushed skin of her face, a brow raising at the peculiar sight.

“G-Good! You kinda remind me of Herbert actually!” She mentioned in a flustered attempt to keep the conversation going now that he started it.

“...Do I now?” He scanned her body language, noticing that she seemed as tense as she had during their first conversation.  
“Are you alright, Miss Kailey? You seem… _ tense_. Has the movie frightened you, perhaps? I would find that quite odd considering you seemed so excited for me to watch it, but..?” His blue eyes drifted back to her own. Despite his question being one of care, he didn’t seem to genuinely care in the slightest. Not in the way that she would like, at least; he just wanted to know what it was that was making her appear so awkwardly.   
First with the stares and now with the flushed, nervous features. If he didn’t know any better, he might think the girl had a schoolgirl-type crush on him. Though, even _ he _ knew very well how unlikely that was; not only was this girl decently attractive (out of his league in a sense), she was nearly half his age, and Crane was… well _ him. _ A creepy, lanky, awkward looking _ psychopath_. Not that any of that mattered. He wasn’t interested in the first place… but the idea of this attractive young woman finding _him_ attractive was such a foreign idea that it was simply impossible to him.

“I’m fine! I-I’ve seen this movie a thousand times so I-I promise I’m not scared either! I-I think I’m just not feeling well is all.” She gulped, hoping her nervousness wouldn’t be all that noticeable in her tone.

“Hm. Well I can’t help but notice that your face seems flushed as well. May I?” Crane adjusted himself, a thin hand reaching over the empty popcorn bowl and hovering over her forehead as he waited for some kind of consent to touch her. He might be a psychopath, but he wasn’t sick. He didn’t wish to make her any more uncomfortable than he already had. 

Of course with Kailey being the nervous wreck she was, she couldn’t help but jump back the moment his hand started to near her, her face somehow darkening up even _ more.  
_“I-I’m alright! I’ll be alright! I’ll admit I feel a tad warm but… I’m sure it’s nothing sleep won’t fix!”

Crane was a polite<strike>ish</strike> man. While it was obvious that there was something wrong, he wouldn’t pry. With a sigh, he brought his hand back to his side.  
“Well, unless you still wish to discuss the films, it would be for the best that you sleep then.”

Kailey’s mouth opened then, as if she was going to interrupt his statement about how she should sleep, yet no words came out.   
“...”  
She _ did _ want to discuss the movies a bit, but if she was going to look and act like this all night, maybe that could wait. 

“You’re right. I’ll clean up in the morning or something.” A sigh of defeat left her lips as she began to move from the couch, placing the empty bowl on the coffee table so that Crane wouldn’t have to.  
“Uh, sleep well Doctor. Hopefully tonight wasn’t too bad.” She smiled a bit awkwardly to herself as she moved back to her room.  
“And sorry about staring earlier.” Were the last words she spoke before she shut the door behind her, not even letting Crane say a word before she locked it.

Crane wasn’t dumb, and the girl’s behavior was only growing increasingly odd. He would have to look into it further when he got the chance… but for now, his introverted self needed sleep.


	4. Analysis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't given enough of Crane's POV so I thought this would be kinda nice. He's a lil dense but understandably so considering women have been pretty harsh to him most his life ://  
Hopefully a full chapter should be out later this week, if not, hopefully this'll hold you guys over until I can finish it uwu  
also I may or may not have written this while drinking so hopefully the spelling and stuff isn't terrible

_ October xx, 20XX _

_ It has been roughly over a week since this girl has taken me into her home with the offer of a place to stay until I am healthy once more. Kailey, whom I do not know the last name of nor do I care enough to find out, is currently away for the time being and I am without a book to read as a form of entertainment. Until she arrives home with the books she had promised, I shall write to keep myself busy. _

_ There have been only a minuscule amount of events that have proceeded within the time in which I wrote last, just yesterday afternoon, and right now. Yet I have some notable observations to record as well as ideas in which I can use these observations to my potential advantage. _

_ Little does my host know, I have found where she has hidden my toxin. I write this in these notes with utmost confidence simply because within a week of having this woman as my host, she has hidden away in her room at nearly every aching moment she is home. I do not mind this in the slightest, in fact this kind of behavior is preferred for a host; that being said, she will not bother to look for nor read these notes, especially if I keep them on my person at nearly all times. She is meek and respects my boundaries all too much despite being a medical student, with the only time she has actually placed a hand on me being when we first met. This gives me an incredible advantage, especially since I have earned her utmost trust with the events from last night proving such. _

_ Before I go into detail about my plans with the toxin, I wish to record some observations relating to this host of mine. Yesterday, Kailey had offered to keep me busy by offering to show me some film of the horror genre because I am without any content, as I aforementioned. I found this shocking, for a simpler resolution would have been for her to run to the library and get me more reading material. I believe she knew this as well, yet offered to show me these movies in a desperate attempt to speak with me again. It is with great confusion that I write that I cannot seem to understand this woman in the slightest. I thought I had a clear understanding of her once she had told me that brief explanation of herself, yet I cannot begin to act as if I know what she may be thinking. At one particular moment, I noticed her staring at me, _ ** _smiling_ ** _ at me while I was reading. This happened again later in the night while we were watching the film that she enthusiastically mentioned was her “favorite.” I commented on this behavior the second time, and she ended up falling silent (understandably so, since we were watching the film), but I could not help but notice the blood rushing to her face. Another strange occurrence happened when the film ended and she appeared clearly feverish. I offered to check the girl’s forehead and she jumped back in quite the flustered manner. While I was curious to understand the girl’s thoughts at the time, I did not wish to pry and I was all too exhausted from the flashy effects of the television. _

_ Now if I were not a logical man, with the kind of behavior she presented, I would believe she had a sort attraction to me. But I am well aware of my status when it comes to women, and she is simply too young and sightly to be finding herself infatuated in a man like myself. Yet with all that being said, I am at a loss. I suppose it is possible that she is infatuated with me in other ways, perhaps my work or perhaps my own psyche? Yet I do not know unless I question her further; That is, if she will let me. Perhaps I will attempt to have another conversation when she arrives home. _

_ Kailey has also grown somewhat playful around me despite her more nervous moments. There was in fact a moment last night when she tossed me a bottle of water without warning. I gave her a glare, one that most people would find terrifying considering my status, yet she let out genuine laughter during this time. While I did not find myself upset by this behavior, I could not help but want to note that perhaps my intimidation no longer has any affect on her. I realize now that I should not have told her I empathize with her, for she has grown much too friendly with me. After our conversation, perhaps I should offer a smaller dose of my toxin as a warning. _

_ Speaking of which, I had mentioned previously that I had found it. Truthfully I had suspected it was in a certain area in her room, yet she always locks it both when she is away and when she is home. That being said, it is not particularly hard to unlock a low-end apartment’s bedroom door with a paperclip, in which this girl has plenty. I searched the room on one of my better days where the aching of my ribs hadn’t been so miserably distracting, and I found the canister hiding in one of her drawers surrounded by some more “personal” items. I have not touched it, for I’m sure she checks on it on a normal basis. But it is comforting to know where the canister is, for I can now do a bit of testing while she is away. Though, if she does grow to trust me enough, there may be a possibility that I can persuade her to bring me more proper tools. She did mention before that she was interested in my work, so perhaps if I offer her to be an “assistant” of some sort, she will happily oblige and I will be able to run experiments without even the worry of her arriving home at any undesired moment. I am currently torn between this plan and using the toxin to instill some fear back into her. _

_ Though, I have come up with a third plan, but this one has a much higher risk. I have yet to see how this toxin affects people in their sleep, and while I do not wish to kill her as of right now, I cannot help but see the perfect opportunity to test the outcome of using it on an unconscious subject. Not only could this help instill fear again, but if she isn’t aware that it was the fear toxin that caused her to see such nightmarish things in her sleep, (this is only a hypothesis of what may happen, of course) then I may still be able to keep her trust. I must think it over before I decide how I will proceed further. _


	5. Apprehension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like this chapter is all over the place and shit but honestly I, as a person, am all over the place so hopefully it works lmao. It probably was a tad rushed but I truthfully wanted to finish up this chapter so badly just so I could write the next one but hopefully the poor writing isn't too obvious :'))) Hopefully I'll have the time to fix it but rn I just wanna post it. I need that sweet serotonin from you guys acknowledging my work

It was nearly five in the evening when Kailey made it home from the library, a strained plastic bag by her side that was very obviously filled with heavy leather-back books. Crane was on the couch, carefully watching the woman enter but could not yet decipher the names of each of the books despite the translucency of the plastic. He waited patiently for Kailey to get comfortable before prying, not doing so much as speaking or offering a “welcome home” before she carefully placed the heavy plastic bag on the kitchen counter, proceeding to take the dense black trenchcoat off of her shoulders once she placed the rest of her belongings down. She seemed out of breath, a noticeable sweat breaking from her pale forehead once she had finally finished settling, sitting on the nearest kitchen chair as her breath finally slowed to a normal pace.

“Sorry…” She breathed out, finally acknowledging Crane.  
“Heard… an alarm while walking home. I think there was a robbery down the street. I… just needed to get back inside.” Her face was a flushed red color, but a different sort of flushed than from the night before.  
“I… should probably get back to doing cardio again. Heh…” Kailey let out a faint chuckle despite still trying to catch her breath entirely, obviously talking more to herself than to Crane.

“Hoo… Anyways. I got your books, Doctor. Have fun. Don’t go too crazy.” She breathed out one last time before finally shifting her eyes over to Crane on the couch, offering him a smile.

“Are you alright?” Crane seemed… concerned? That or he was just asking that simply because it was the appropriate thing to say in this context. Once again, Kailey wasn’t sure.

She only shook her head, laughing a bit more to herself while mumbling something on the lines of _ “and here I thought he’d care more about the books,” _ before looking back over to him.   
“I’m fine, thanks for asking. But I’ve gotten pretty used to this kinda shit despite only being here for a little over a year. I kinda had to or else I probably would of gone insane.”   
She continued to offer a smile, seeming in a better, less anxious mood than she had usually been when speaking with Crane despite rushing home from the library in what he assumed to be a fit of panic. 

“You’re not hurt, then?”  
Crane raised an eyebrow, his beady eyes eyeing her body closely. He took note that the girl appeared to have put some more effort into her appearance compared to other days where she would usually come home in a comfortably looking outfit consisting of sweatpants and some oversized t-shirt. Today was quite different, not only did it appear that she was wearing some light makeup, but her outfit was form-fitting and… surprisingly elegant.   
Adorning her body was a black, slimming turtleneck, black pants that clung to her every curve, and some comfortable looking kitten-toed boots that cut off right above the ankles. While the outfit consisted of only various shades of black, it was actually quite tasteful despite the repetitively dark aesthetic; for even on Kailey’s nicer days, she couldn’t steer away from that.   
Nonetheless, her appearance was quite obviously different. _Nicer_, but different; and even Crane, a man who never focused much on appearance himself, could see that. For what or whom he could only guess, but as always, he wouldn’t pry (or in this case, bother to even ask). It was simply another thing for him to be curious about. 

“Just fine. Exhausted from running back here in 30 degree weather with a backpack and a plastic bag full of heavy, leatherback books, but again, something I’m pretty used to.” Kailey shrugged, though her content little grin remained on pink lips, making her seemingly unbothered.

“Hm.” Crane could only nod, finally shifting his blue-eyed gaze away from the girl and now to the books that lay at the counter.  
“May I ask what you’ve brought me, then?” 

“Oh yeah! Of course. Don’t you move a muscle.” The woman kicked off her shoes then, snatching the plastic bag off the counter and rushing to the couch where she would sit in her usual spot, leaving a good two feet of space between she and Crane where she then placed the books.  
“I got you a few psychology books—not sure if you’ve read any of them already, but I got a few for a reason. I got some fiction, more classic horror, some modern horror, Stephen King mostly, and then… some chemistry books. Again, you’ve might’ve—probably—definitely have read a few of these but at least there’s a lot to choose from?” She began spreading the books out on the couch, a total of twelve books with the shortest page count being at a little over 600.   
Kailey knew he had read all the books on the shelf (about 25 in total) in just over a week, she could only hope this would keep him busy for the next few days, a hopeful sigh leaving her lips as she looked over the books.

“These will do just fine, thank you.” He nodded, a thin hand going to one of the many chemistry books lying in front of him.  
“And by the way, Miss Kailey. I don’t mind rereading books. I just would prefer not reading the same twenty-five books repeatedly during my six weeks here. I do hope you understand.”   
His blue eyes glanced back into hers but only for a moment before Crane began to read the synopsis, adjusting himself on the couch and making himself comfortable once more.

“I’ll… keep that in mind.” The woman only furrowed her brows at this, frowning a bit as she realized Crane was back to his normal boring routine. She respected it of course, yet she still couldn’t help but wish she had waited just a tad longer to get those books, especially after the enjoyable (anxiety ridden, but enjoyable nonetheless) night she’d had last night.

“Actually—wait.” Kailey spoke up, her voice laced with confidence before a sigh left her lips, knowing that _ once again _ she would likely regret what would soon leave her mouth.

“It’s… Friday now, and because I don’t have any classes tomorrow and most of my homework isn’t due till Sunday… maybe we can watch that last movie together? I can make some food for us and we can start watching it the second it’s ready?” Her jaw stiffened into an almost uncomfortable smile, her expression waiting impatiently for some sort of reply.  
  
Crane was quiet, reading over his book for the moment as his eyes scanned the first page. 

“Docto—”

“Just a moment.” He finally put the book down onto his lap once he finished the page, upside down so his page would be saved.

“Miss Kailey, may I ask you something?”

While this was the last thing that she wished to hear, she remained hopeful as she gave a curt nod, waiting for him to speak once more.

“Isn’t there something _ else _ a young girl like yourself could be doing on a Friday night? The Friday night before _ Halloween_, at that?”  
  
Another sigh left Kailey’s lips… at least the question wasn’t half as harsh as she was expecting.  
“Uh… no. I was never a fan of parties unless they were smaller ones with a group of people I really knew and trusted, and things haven’t really been that way since I’ve left for Gotham. I don’t know a single person here and I don’t really know if I’d trust any party in Gotham in the first place.”   
Her lips began to purse once she finished her explanation, blue eyes trailing off of Crane and onto the floor.

“You’re smart for not going to a party alone… especially with the kinds of men that are in Gotham.” He gave a nod, a low sigh leaving his own thin lips.  
“I suppose I must accept your offer then.”

Kailey, who was expecting another entirely _ different _ response, took a few moments in silence. Blue eyes still aimed at the floor before finally the realization of his words rushed through her mind, wide eyes bolting right back to his face.

“Huh?!”

“Is something the matter?” He raised a brow at her exaggerated reaction.

“N-No. Not at all! I just… was expecting something worse. And honestly a bit more harsh.”

“I’d like to think I’ve been quite polite towards you as of late, Miss Kailey.”

“...Yeah. Yeah, you have.”  
Kailey went silent as the situation processed through her head, beginning to unconsciously bite her cheek.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as rude myself… I guess I should start dinner then, hm?” She lifted her head back up so that blue eyes met Crane’s own, offering him that heartfelt yet awkward smile.

“You probably should, yes.” His eyes offered only a blank stare back as if he were impatient for her to stop her idle chatter, impatient so that he could just get back to reading until the movie started… 

At least, that was how Kailey took it. It made her a tad uneasy but she would live, especially since he actually said _ yes _ to her little offer.   
A sigh left the woman’s lips as she got up from the couch, immediately going to the kitchen where she prepared some spaghetti. Originally, she was going to ask him if it was even something he would _ eat,_ but not only did that stare of his make her want to keep her mouth shut, but he honestly didn’t seem like much of a picky eater and spaghetti was a pretty basic food. If he was hungry enough, she was sure he’d eat just about anything… hopefully.

During this time, it was no surprise that Crane was reading as he always did, only stopping once to go to the bathroom before coming back and doing his same routine. His eyes still remained empty and as if nothing were on the page, just like their first night together when he gave that warning… yet his eyes remained empty while he was _ reading _ of all times. Kailey had taken notice of how his eyes often appeared while reading, her glances and stares making that apparent. But never once had they seemed so glazed over until now.   
This made her uneasy just as his previous statement had, a pit in her stomach becoming noticeable; it was similar to butterflies, yet somehow worse. Regret of her offer, regret of putting on makeup, of putting effort into her appearance for this _ psychopath _ settled in. It was seeing that emptiness behind his eyes that made her realize this and it came falling apart altogether.  
Kailey was good at hiding her anxieties for the most part, at least when the situation was dire enough; and now was one of those times. She cooked as if nothing was wrong, like perhaps Crane wasn’t even on the couch; but on the inside was a dam of emotions that had finally given in with the crushing weight of apprehension. It was painful but it was a pain that was all too familiar.

For the past week, this same exact feeling had been flooding her thoughts yet not quite to this extent. Her mind would be going back and forth as if there were a devil and an angel on her shoulder: One telling her that this man was a fine, smart gentleman and it was perfectly harmless to grow a few feelings for him; while the other screamed at her, telling her she was utterly insane for doing so much as finding this man attractive. The ironic part of it all was that the angel had been the one calling her insane.  
With the current “emptiness” of his eyes, it was a given that this painful feeling would be back. Being so alone, so pent up, so busy made the yearning all the worse but within this short period of having this man on her couch, it was as if he was all she ever thought about. Looking into Scarecrow, reading those headlines, those articles were supposed to be some fun research and nothing more but it _wasn’t._ He was on her fucking couch now and she was developing genuine feelings for this murderer within two weeks of meeting him. It was absolute torture for an already mentally distressed woman with a strong moral compass. 

If she hadn’t already made plans with this man, she would normally stop whatever she was doing and go take a shower where she would just sit on the shower floor and think; and while this technique often ended up in tears, it was a helpful way to get all those raging emotions out of her system.   
But this was impossible now and Kailey was just as empty-looking as Crane was when she finished making the food. She seemed drained, and while the makeup helped make that less obvious, the almost melancholic look in her blue hues was what would have given it all away if Crane cared enough to glance up from his book. 

But Crane _ didn’t _ care enough. When the woman had placed the dishes on the coffee table in front of him, he didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t acknowledge her, he just continued reading with with that damned look in his eyes. It was even more nerve wracking than the times she would come home and he wouldn’t do so much as glance at the door… torture. Just torture; and she was beginning to wonder if this man knew of the psychological distress he was evoking.

Kailey proceeded to move to the television, setting up _ A Nightmare on Elm Street, _ as Crane finished his page, finally placing the Chemistry book down on the coffee table. While it was somewhat a relief that he placed the book down… it wasn’t much better to feel his beady eyes watching her every move as she was simply turning on the television.   
It was once the deed was done and Kailey finally sat back down that the tone of Jonathan’s broken voice finally echoed through her ears. 

“You look pained.” He pointed out, not a hint of sincerity in his voice. It just sounded like an observation really. 

“...” Kailey found herself remaining quiet. There was a part of her that was scared of opening her mouth for all the truth would come flooding out at once, similar to their first morning together; yet she was sure her own voice would be laced in distress and sarcasm rather than sincerity and content.   
It was the silence that caused her to simply press play without a response. She wasn’t sure if her lack of words came off as rude, but that freaky stare of his was pretty damn rude too, so fuck it, right? 

As the sound of the television submerged the room, Kailey finally grabbed her bowl off the coffee table and began to eat. It was only about five minutes later that Crane followed, beginning to eat as well. He was quiet as per usual and while Kailey was well aware that the man beside her was watching the movie… there was some strange feeling that he was looking at her, like his eyes were watching _ her _ and only her; yet even when her blue hues would glance to the side just to check to see if she had any reason to feel this apprehension… his eyes were glued on the television.   
It was obvious that she needed to calm down, for all this paranoia was pointless. Crane didn’t know where his Fear Toxin currently was and even if he somehow _ did,_ there was no way that he’d somehow drug her within the short period since she had gotten home and now. She was just being paranoid because of his gaze, a gaze that she knew nothing about. It was ridiculous, her anxieties were ridiculous, and even she was well aware of that at this point.  
A deep breath escaped Kailey’s lips then; finally an attempt to get herself out of her head. Blue eyes moved back to the television and she just focused on that, forcing her brain to quiet down as she began to stuff her mouth with spaghetti. It could be another fun night if she just _ let _ herself have fun, and from this point on, that was her goal for the rest of the night. No more overthinking over some stupid glance anymore; just she and Crane on the couch, enjoying another horror movie and eating some dinner. 

Things were finally moving nicely as the paranoia caused by Crane’s gaze dwindled and Kailey’s mind began to ease as the movie progressed. She was much more content than before, beginning to appreciate the circumstances for what they were, giving in to that little devil on her shoulder. A warm smile graced her soft lips as she glanced at Crane, finally finding the confidence to scoot just a tad closer to him.   
Instead of overthinking again, she couldn’t help but want to laugh at her own ridiculous panic from before. This was nice after all, plus she’d already established that if he _ did _ do anything, she might find it even hotter at the end of the day. Why worry so much? Was her medicine just losing its effectiveness, or did Crane have such a ridiculous power over her psyche from doing so little? These were both questions best left unanswered, and she really didn’t care to answer them now anyways.  
  
It was soon after she found herself relaxing that a yawn escaped Kailey’s lips, something she would usually find odd considering it was only about 7pm; but she was well aware of how exhausted her emotions could make her. While she would usually feel the need to stay up on a night off… that need just wasn’t there right now. She only felt the need to rest.   
The woman decided she would wait until after the movie to rest, and while she couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed that her use of makeup and the effort that went into her appearance would go to waste, it didn’t truly bother her either. It was as if the exhaustion was just numbing enough that she no longer had the frequent worries she normally had… and that was a wonderful feeling.

As expected, Kailey ended up zoning out for the remainder of the movie while Crane did his usual routine of carefully watching the television till the last millisecond. Though, the moment the credits rolled over the screen, the woman took no hesitation to shut it off as another yawn escaped her lips.   
She soon pushed herself off the couch, turning her head and offering Crane another warm smile, one that he responded with a raise of a brow.

“I think I’m gonna sleep, doc. Sorry I made you watch the movie with me but I couldn’t pass up the chance to spend more time with you…~!” She hummed, having not a single care in the world for what had just slipped from her lips. 

Crane was only more confused by her words, his once empty stare turning into one of genuine curiosity. He furrowed his dark brows but soon shook the feeling off, remembering the circumstances. It was probably a good thing he was as dense as he was because any other man would probably know exactly what she meant. 

“Sleep well, Miss Kailey.” He simply gave a nod in her direction as the girl began to trudge over to her room, still locking the door behind her. It was only a moment later that Crane swore he had heard the sound of the girl collapsing onto the bed, causing a thin smile to fall onto his worn features.   
“Don’t let the bedbugs bite…”


	6. Experiment #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very sorry about the delayed and short chapter bUT school has been a pain in the ass and then halloween happened and then more hw so. I've had no time. also lowkey been mentally falling apart but again, posting these gives me that sweet dopamine so thx in advance if you comment or offer kudos uwu

_ October xx, 20XX _

I _am currently writing this in a state of disarray caused by my own doing. I saw the perfect opportunity to drug this girl, this girl who seems to trust me, this girl whom does not fear me, and I did it. I stepped out of line, I had little planning, but I simply could not hold myself back. She offered to watch that last awful horror film, she offered to make food for us both, and I could not help but see a perfect plan forming in my head the moment the offer was given._

_ Kailey, my subject and the owner of this apartment, had some sleeping medication in her medicine cabinet, and at some point during which she was preparing food, I took two of those capsules and hid them until she placed her food down on the table, where I emptied the capsules into her bowl. I did this solely for the reason that I cannot have this woman waking up on me while I use the toxin, she must be sleeping not enough to put her in a coma, but certainly enough to force her to sleep until late morning or perhaps much longer. (These circumstances were certainly better than I could have possibly even planned, especially considering the girl has no classes the next morning; meaning her absence, or lack thereof, will draw no attention.) _

_ Luckily, the subject ate the food without a second thought, signifying that she most certainly did not know of my doing, soon falling tired and going to the bedroom once the film had ended only to pass out for what I’m assuming was moments later. _ _  
_ _ Of course, she locked her door as she always did but this was, again, of no issue. Using the technique I had used multiple times before, I unlocked the entrance to her bedroom and found my fear toxin in its usual spot. The subject was indeed out cold, making very few movements in her sleep with an almost unpleasant face, no matter how much I prodded her to awaken… and that is when I used it. I wore my mask of course, as the proximity of the girl and myself was very short and I was well aware that the toxin may affect myself if I was too reckless. _

_ But I used it, I used my toxin on my sleeping subject… and while I was hypothesizing a much more deranged affect, it was satisfying nonetheless. At first, she began to toss and turn, her unpleasant, drooling expression twisting into one showing obvious discomfort. She squirmed and squirmed until some strangled and almost indecipherable pleas left her lips. Soon the pleas turned into much more specific cries, the subject beginning to repeat apologies and begging for her hallucination to look away but crying out for them to stay. It was a beautiful sight to say the least; and while I could not comprehend much of what she was mumbling about, I did notice some keywords that I have no doubt are or have to do with her most fervent fears. These words were “failure,” “abandon,” and “disgusting,” in what I was assuming was in context of herself, signifying that this girl is more affected by her psyche than of any physical terrors (something that did not surprise me considering the girl had mentioned she was mentally divergent). _

_ Despite spraying a smaller dose, these incoherent ramblings lasted for nearly a full hour before she fell back into her deep, unbothered sleep. I had watched the whole time, making mental notes at points that seemed most important (I would have preferred to write notes, but there was no clipboard available and it did not help that the room was quite dark). Once my observations were of no use, I placed the toxin and mask back in its desired spot, locked the door, and began recording the observations as quickly as I could, which brings me here now. _

_ Now, it is not very late but I have no actual desire to stay awake now that the experiment is complete. My hypothesis was not supported, but I am plenty happy with the results. I can only hope to hear her cries and see that twisted expression once more before I take my leave. _


	7. Someone Must Get Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been like... 2 months since I updated but at least a new chapter is out lmao but life is weird and mental health is weirder. IRONICALLY this chapter is v deep and kinda a huge vent chapter bcuz i've been bleh lately but it heavily aids in the plot and feelings and stuff so ya. reader/kailey is finally showing some true colors and its a worst case scenario WOOOOOO

It was all too late when Kailey had woken from her drug-induced sleep. There was no shine from behind the curtains, it was dark, her head ached, and her lids still felt heavy. A weak hand reached to the bedside table to grab her phone but a yawn escaped her lips, interrupting the action. Nonetheless, eventually the bright blue shine of the screen reached pale eyes, making that headache all the more unbearable. Only now could she read the time. It was 5:19 AM, Sunday. Meaning this girl had been sleeping for well over 24 hours since her “date” night with Crane.   
Suddenly, she felt the need to rush to the bathroom, her breath short as she pulled herself out of bed… her stomach ached now as she regained more of her senses, but she assumed it was from dehydration and lack of food. One foot in front of the other, she would be just fine with the light of her phone helping her find her way to the bathroom. Crane was asleep, which was no surprise considering the time, but truthfully she didn’t care much about him one way or another. Not right now at least, she just needed to take care of herself.   
Turning on the bathroom light, she noticed the melted, smeared makeup of her face. She hadn’t taken it off after the movie with Crane, she just fell right to sleep. But now her face was a mess, in fact, it appeared as though she had been crying in her sleep with how the mascara trailed down her cheeks, but soon realized the cold sweat trailing down her forehead had been the cause.

It was much too early in the night for her to think clearly, for the physical aches of her body was what filled her mind for the hour. She needed food… water, and then a nice _ long _ shower. 

“Oh… fuck.” Kailey mumbled before her eyes widened, rushing back to her room. Despite the shakiness of her hands, she took no hesitation to pull the cap off of the pill bottle and dry swallow her daily-dose of antidepressants. She knew how uncomfortable dry-swallowing would often make her throat feel, but it was the last thing she cared about now. This was the first time she had missed a dose since she was a _ teenager _ , and now she had missed _ two _ doses. A slight panic filled her chest, but she did her best to take deep breaths. Right now, she just needed to get hydrated and _ eat _ , she could have her mental breakdown in the shower where no one could hear her or bother her.  
So, that’s what the poor girl did. Quietly, she used the light of her phone to grab a bottle of water, heating up some leftover spaghetti that she could only assume Crane had put away after she fell asleep those 30-something hours before, and ate in her bedroom in silence. The cold water trickling down her throat felt wonderful considering the previous dryness from sleeping with her mouth open and that carb-filled pasta never tasted so good.   
Her mind stayed blank as she ate, that panicked feeling still weighing heavy in her chest, only causing her to push it deeper into the back of her thoughts in hopes of protecting her sanity. It worked for the time being, everything was fine. She moved mindlessly to put the dishes away before going back to the bathroom and turning on the water… but the moment that scorching fluid touched her naked skin was the moment every aching emotion ruptured out of her person. There was no crying, no screaming, no sound.  
It was entirely silent except for the white noise of the water falling around her body. Sitting on the floor of the tub, thin nails dug into pale skin, leaving behind long, fine depressions where the crimson fluid would seep out. The dullness of the nails caused for more pain than usual as she forcefully scraped at her own complexion. Little scars similar to those of the current wounds trailed around her body. There wasn’t a copious amount as most of the scars were long gone, but had one stared long enough at her naked body; a few stubborn ones wouldn’t be miserably difficult to find.   
Kailey, even while on medication, found herself to enjoy pain quite a bit. Being in pain and the adrenaline rush that always came with it was something that she used not only sexually, but as a way to cope with her crippling depression. She knew all too well how unhealthy it was, and while she was aware she should probably see a therapist about this harmful behavior, being someone on a tight budget with no health insurance made it pretty hard for her to willingly seek it out. Even back when she _ did _ have health insurance, she consulted her mother—the owner of the insurance—about seeing a shrink and her mother didn’t seem to understand the reasoning, especially when she was “already on medication for her depression.”   
To say the least, Kailey had plenty of pent up emotions that she never healthily got out of her system; and this recent and accidental withdrawal of the number one thing that kept her together caused them to erupt out of her all at once.   
Of course, the fear toxin was of no help—yes, she recalled that miserable nightmare so vividly. The only problem was that she didn’t know if Crane had actually gotten ahold of the toxin or if the awful nightmare was simply a side-effect of her withdrawing from her medicine. She had no concept of time when sleeping, so it was hard to recall if the dream was early in her 30-something hours of bedrest, or later, where the withdrawal would really set it.   
Nonetheless, even if Kailey didn’t know it— the fear toxin was undoubtedly a factor in this harmful relapse. It was likely that after this “shower” that she would crawl into bed and lie there for hours on end, ignoring the outside world, ignoring the psychopath on her couch, and just sit there. Maybe play on her phone to keep herself busy, maybe watch something or listen to music, but it was unlikely she would get out of bed unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps she would miss her classes on Monday, perhaps she would miss them for the whole week. If this were the case, it was even more unlikely that she would pull herself together long enough to email one of her professors or a fellow student to let them know why she was absent.

At the end of the day—or night—or whatever you would call the period of time that she was silently digging at her skin on the bathroom floor; Kailey did not want to exist. 

Crane, on the other hand, had been keeping a close eye on the girl. And luckily for him, he was a light sleeper; meaning the moment Kailey had come crawling out of her room after those 30-odd hours, he found himself wide awake. He kept his head down whenever she would leave her room or the bathroom, but every time one of those doors would shut, he rushed to the other side, listening, doing his best to understand what the girl was doing. If he got a good idea of her actions, he should be able to get a good idea of her emotions as well—or so that was the idea. Unfortunately for him, the only things he had really heard was the time she mumbled “Oh fuck” under her breath and the white noise of the shower.  
It was with this little information that Crane came to the conclusion that he would simply give up his eavesdropping and finally greet her when she came out of the bathroom. 

While Kailey was somewhat surprised to see his face upon leaving the bathroom, she simply didn’t care for the most part. Her plan was to go to her room and lock the door as she always did, and even after coming to terms with her unusual emotions for Crane, now wasn’t the time to deal with them—or him for that matter.  
That was until Crane spoke up, his beady eyes watching her closely, noticing some of the fresh wounds on her arms. Her face appeared drained and her hair still matted despite only just coming from the shower; it was obvious to him now that the purpose of her shower wasn’t for cleaning herself up. Something was wrong. 

“Miss Kailey?” His voice sounded somehow more sincere than most days, a hint of curiosity in his normally rough tone. 

“What?” Blue eyes drifted to his, but now it was her turn for her blue hues to appear empty. 

“You have been sleeping for over 24 hours now and considering you’re my care-taker, I believe it’s only reasonable to be somewhat worried. Are you alright?” 

“Not really, no. But I’ll get over it.”

“You’re bleeding, you know.”

“I know.”

“...”  
“Miss Kailey?”

“What?” 

“Do you mind sitting with me for a moment?” 

“Why?”

“I wish to talk to you, is all.”

“Why?”

“I’m worried.”

“Are psychopaths even capable of feeling worried for other people?”

“If you’re insistent on being alone, I won’t stop you.” 

“...Fine. I’ll sit for a little bit.”

With that, the girl moved on over to the couch where she plopped right down, that dull look in her eyes remaining strong nonetheless.  
“Now what?” 

“Perhaps you can open up about your current emotions.”

“I’m not very good at doing that. Plus I’m not sure if I trust opening up to a psychopathic psychiatrist who likes to exploit peoples’ fears.”

“Well, even_ I’m _ aware that you won’t get any better if you shut the world out. I’m sure you’re currently planning on missing class tomorrow, hm?”

“And if I am?”

“I can’t stop you. But I saw how much you dreaded missing that _ one _ day after you first took me in. You’ll only hate yourself more.”

“I’ll hate myself no matter what, so it doesn’t matter. And why the fuck do you care anyways?”

“I don’t. I simply think you’re a promising student, and it would be a shame if you ruined your dream job because of something I know you can fight. You’re a smart girl—despite your impulsiveness. I genuinely believe you would make a wonderful pathologist.” 

“...No offense, but it sounds like you’re only saying that in a half-assed attempt to make me feel better.”

“I’m being genuine, but you’re free to believe what you wish.”

For a few moments, the room stayed silent until Crane spoke up once more in a desperate attempt to get the girl to speak. He wasn’t sure why he felt so determined to get the girl to voice her emotions, but he assumed that it had to do with the fact that she was his experiment for the time being. Nonetheless, whatever the case was, he was willing to say whatever was needed to understand how the fear toxin had affected his victim.   
“I heard you yelling in your sleep. I know it must make you uncomfortable for a man like myself to say this but… I believe I now understand what you’re afraid of because of it. It’s why I’m talking to you right now.”  
  
“Hm. And the truth comes out. So, on with it. What do you think I’m afraid of, doc?”

“Well, failure for one. And I know that if you miss your class, you’re going to feel like a failure more so than ever.”

“...” Kailey found herself somewhat embarrassed at his words, though there was no cute, flustered blush this time around. Blue eyes simply drifted from his as a sigh left her chapped lips.

“What happened, miss Kailey? Am I the cause of this low? Has my presence put you in such a stressful situation?” Crane furrowed his brows, eyes glued on the girl before him. His words sounded so sincere, if only Kailey were her normal self she’d be awing all over him. But that didn’t matter, it was all fake anyways. The only reason she needed to go to class anyways was so that she wouldn’t draw attention to herself, and Kailey was sure this was his reasoning for even trying this hard. 

A laugh left her lips, though it didn’t sound very genuine. It was funny, talking to Crane really helped her connect the dots. He heard her yelling? And now he’s asking what happened… _as if he didn’t know_? There should be no reason whatsoever as to why Kailey slept for over 30 hours, no _normal_ reason, unless she were drugged. He _did_ use the fear toxin, and she _did_ miss two doses of her antidepressants because of _him._  
  
To say the least, Crane was quite taken aback by this laughter. The problem was, Jonathan Crane is a man who believes he’s smarter than he really is—of course, this man is _very_ smart. But there’s a reason Crane ended up in Arkham as often as he did. It was times like these where Crane didn’t realize his mistakes—his impulsiveness, ironically enough, doomed him in the same way that it had doomed Kailey. His impulsiveness caused him to do the experiment nearly hours after he had come up with the idea. His impulsiveness caused him to force this woman into a depressive episode. And now his impulsiveness had caused him to slip up, revealing something he probably shouldn’t have, all because he was impatient to get the girl to speak.

“Are you alright, miss Kailey?”

It was a few moments before her fake, insincere laughter calmed down, and the girl looked over to the man with obvious loathing in her eyes.  
“Oh, I’m _ great _. I just realized something is all. You’re a real piece of work, you know?”

“...I’m sorry?” 

“You’re really good at manipulating people, I’ll give you that. But you don’t really scare me right now, doc. Because honestly? If you killed me _ right now _ ? That’d be just fine with me. So. Here I go… _ FUCK. YOU.” _ _  
_The girl moved off the couch, eyes glued to him as her voice cracked. 

It was at this point that Crane realized that he had been found out. His face remained stoic and he didn’t flinch in the slightest.  
Though unfortunately, even if he didn’t show it or didn’t want to believe he was even feeling it… he felt guilty. It was no longer about the fear toxin, especially considering it was likely (in his mind at least) that the toxin wasn’t even a variable in making her spiral like this. He realized he should have paid more attention. Should have _ at least _ helped prevent the withdrawal. Maybe then the experiment wouldn’t have been a complete failure. 

“You know what I hate most about this? The fact that honestly I think I was feeling more than just respect and empathy for you. I think I was feeling more. I think I might’ve been genuinely _ attracted _ to you, and not even in the whole Stockholm syndrome way, no. And now I just… I just want you to kill me.That’s why I’m even rambling right now, so hopefully you shut me up and fucking kill me. You know where your fear toxin is obviously! So spray me with a lethal dose and be on your way! I can only pray batman finds my body before the maggots get to it! God. What was I fucking _ thinking?! _ You don’t give a shit about me, and even after all the kind things I’ve done, NOT because you intimidated me into doing them, but because I thought you _ were deserving _ of them, you go and force me into a state of mental torture. Was the withdrawal a part of your plan? Or is it just a bonus?”

“Miss Ka—”

“Oh, who am I fucking kidding, of course it was. And you know what’s even more annoying about this? I’m a fucking_ masochistic adrenaline junky_, which is _ probably _why my subconscious decided it would be a good idea to take you in. Bet your stupid fucking psychoanalyzing couldn’t have guessed that, right?”

“Miss Kail—”

“That I probably woulda’ let you experiment on me, in fact I’d probably gain pleasure from it! But now that offer is _ obviously _ off the table because now I’m gonna fucking die, and that is the _ last bit _ of pleasure your sadistic ass is going to get from me. I hope you watch real closely when you kill me. Take all those fucking fears of mine in. Scare me. Because I’ll be smiling till the last second, because finally not only am I going to die, but it’s going to be because of _ you_. And for some reason, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Miss Kailey—”

“Do me a favor, alright? As a final “fuck you,” why don’t you just make sure I rot in the most disgusting way possible before the cops fine me. I’m sure you heard all about my fear of being revolting, so it’d be really the perfect cherry on top, don’t ya thi—”

_ “MISS KAILEY.” _

In the middle of her outburst, Crane had officially seemed to have had enough. He stood up, towering the girl by nearly a whole foot as his beady blue eyes stared intently into hers. It was only now that he realized the tears falling down her cheeks. Obviously the crack in her voice should have given it away at some point, but she had been surprisingly good about concealing the emotions in her voice despite the yelling.   
But it was now easily said that this was the most Kailey had opened up to anyone in either quite a long time… or ever. Everything said in this little outburst wasn’t even an overreaction at that point. She was tired. She was depressed. She wanted to die… and the _last_ thing Crane wanted to do was kill her.   
And although Crane’s face was stoic, showing hardly an ounce of emotion, the raise of his voice said enough. Perhaps he _ did _empathize with this girl more than he was willing to admit, after all, most people really would be killed only seconds into scolding him normally. 

Cold eyes met Kailey’s bloodshot ones as they stared at each other silently. Even if he was trying to intimidate her by towering her and holding that stare, there was no way in hell that the woman would allow that. She’d been pushed around enough in her life, and considering she was expecting to die in literally minutes from that point, she decided it was a good time to finally stand her ground.

“I’m sorry.”

Crane finally broke the silence, seemingly taking a large amount of his pride in order to even voice an apology. He couldn’t even remember the last time he sincerely apologized to someone, and this woman was _ a victim _ of his that he was apologizing to at that. Apparently there really was a first time for everything.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“Even if I grabbed my phone and called GCPD right now?” Kailey continued to stand her ground, the abundance of emotions she felt showing in her expression. 

“Even then. I may have to take precautions to prevent you from doing so. But I _will not_ _kill you._”

“Why not?”

“Because you want to die.” 

“So?” 

“I’m a psychiatrist, Kailey.”

“I don’t recall that reason ever stopping you from killing your other victims.”

“So be it. I have plenty of other reasons.”

“Fine.” With that, the woman confidently walked to her room and grabbed the mask and canister from the drawer, walking right back and placing them on the coffee table where they were now out in the open.

“Suit yourself. I’ll be in my room. My door will be unlocked.” Kailey turned back to her room, expecting that to be their last bit of conversation for a long while—Until she was once again cut off by Crane. He had grabbed her wrist and was forcing her to stay in the living room for the moment.

“And how do I know you won’t harm yourself again?” 

A deadpan glare was shot in Crane’s direction as she turned her head. “I won’t. I’ll be waiting for you to do that for me.” 

“...” With a clenched jaw, obviously annoyed by her response, Crane finally let go of the woman’s wrist and she was gone.  
Sighing, the former professor weakly moved back onto the couch and began to rub his temples. Already a hell of a day and it was only 6 AM.


	8. Disconnect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this doesn't feel too out of character for Crane lmao. But to be fair it's hard to write any love story with a psychopath because they'll probably get out of character at SOME POINT. so whatever¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_ October 31, 20XX _

_ I… have overstepped my bounds. The girl, Kailey, is going through a heavy depressive episode. It appears to be my fault. She had a short withdrawal from her antidepressants. I… know nothing about this girl's true self and I’m beginning to realize this, the more this feeling of regret(?) sinks in. I have felt regret before, plenty in fact, as sometimes I realize the Dark Knight will find something all too easily; I’ll be too eager, I get too into my work and I _ ** _regret it_**_. This is one of those times, but this type of regret is filled with a faint pain that I don’t believe I’ve ever witnessed before. There is a pit in my chest. It’s not riddled with fear, it’s not a pit of emptiness. It's quite the opposite. _

_ I may feel for this girl to an extent. She was begging for me to kill her and never in my life have I wished to protect, to **liberate** someone like this. I can’t deny I still have the intense, nearly uncontrollable feeling to use this woman as a test-subject, but there is that heavy feeling that is much stronger, stopping me from the impulsive behavior. I’m becoming frustrated, as she won’t leave her room; and more importantly she will not leave my mind. I wish to routinely check on her but I refuse to let myself act on such a ridiculous idea. _

_ But… her words continue to echo in my head. Kailey said she believed she found herself attracted to me, that she was not afraid of me and believed I deserved kindness. I’m not sure a single soul has ever said something so… innocent(?) to me in such a fury of words. Harleen has been kind to me at points, but I see nothing of the kindness considering she simply appears to remain kind to nearly everyone she had previously worked with. But Kailey’s words and actions have been different, she continuously acted sincere again and again, even after days of silence. It’s becoming excruciating just waiting. I’m worried for her. I… believe I now know what guilt feels like. _

_ I loathe it. I loathe _ ** _her_**_. I can’t kill her… I don’t want to, but I _ ** _do._ ** _ I should have killed her in the beginning. No one loves her. No one even cares enough about her to _ ** _check up_ ** _ on her despite her living _ ** _alone_ ** _ in this wretched city. She has _ ** _no one._ ** _ No wonder she latched onto such an awful man like myself. This woman is completely and utterly emotionally deprived and she has had no way to release these emotions. What a sad, pathetic life._

_Damn it. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


** _ She reminds me too much of myself. _ **


	9. Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting close to the ending (:  
There's probably like 2 chapters and MAYBE an epilogue left so this baby might be the first actual fic I have ever finished. that'd be pretty cool.  
THAT being said, it's probably smart not to expect weekly updates or anything because I just don't have it in me rn. That being said I undoubtedly expect this thing to get done at some point. So I hope you guys enjoy ANOTHER angsty chapter. sorry it took so long (:

Oh, how the morning ached.  
Both parties had stayed within their respective areas, with Crane proceeding to move about the living room and kitchen currently unable to immerse himself in a book. Although it had now been hours since the confrontation, he hadn’t bothered to check on her even once. Of course he was _ tempted_, but the immeasurable guilt outweighed any curiosity that would cause him to do so much as place a hand on the doorknob.

In the other room, the stinging of the fresh scratches still remained prominent as Kailey laid beneath the warm security of her comforter, yet somehow the sensation didn’t phase her. She felt as if she had no right to care and truthfully, she simply didn’t have the _ energy _ to. The woman just kept her head down, playing some music as she stared up at the ceiling. The daylight had now been peeking through the curtains, offering a bit more light in the darkened area. She imagined it was probably better than sitting in pitch black, but even then… she didn’t care if it was better or not; if she really cared, she would be out and about, studying, enjoying herself on one of her favorite holidays, _ maybe even spend time with Crane. _   
Finding herself irritated that she still held such feelings, Kailey shook off that last thought, shoving it right into the back of her brain where the rest of her more positive thoughts lingered. No matter, she couldn’t bring herself to move, (and especially make a move) anyhow. Perhaps it was better that way.

At the other side of the door, Crane could hear the faint sound of a tune from his place in the living room as it was obvious she didn’t care enough to use headphones in this state. Every so often, this would cause his curiosity to get the best of him, walking to the door and placing an ear against it. The music most certainly sounded “heavy,” though not in the loud, screaming way but in the way that weighed on your emotions. While the former professor wasn’t a fan of music much himself, (except for the few exceptions of some older and classical tastes) he was well aware of how music could affect one’s emotions—and at this point it was obvious that she was only feeding her depression now. This of course, still did not give the man enough confidence to move forward in attempting to check on the woman, no matter how often he had placed his ear on that door.

Eventually a sigh left Crane’s thin, chapped lips as he finally snapped out of his long deliberation on the couch. Moving to the bathroom, he splashed a bit of water in his face in a desperate attempt to get him out of this uncharacteristic, emotional rut. It was once he wiped his face that he noticed the drops of dried blood trailing from the tub and onto the sides of the sink. Beady eyes drifted as his curiosity subjugated him once more; two long fingers moving to the red substance on the sink where he would eye it carefully. After a moment of pondering about the liquid, his eyes trailed right back to the drops on the floor when yet _ another _ sigh left his lips, shaking his head in an almost disappointed manner. It was at that moment that Crane had come to a ridiculous, annoying… _ desperate _ conclusion. He mentally cursed at himself for letting this emotion affect him in such an awful way. It felt almost degrading, _ willingly _ bringing himself down to this girl’s level. Letting her get the best of him, letting her see _ this _ side of him, making _ him _ feel like this.  
“_Damn it… _”

In a rush of these newfound emotions, Crane forced the bedroom door open, causing the woman’s sensitive eyes to be blinded by the sudden light. Before she could even comprehend what had been happening, the cold feeling of Jonathan’s hand gripped her arm and forced her out of bed. He obviously wasn’t very muscular, but luckily for him, Kailey wasn’t particularly heavy. 

“What are you—” She was soon cut off by the sharp pain of Crane’s hand digging into the still-healing wounds. Blue eyes widened as her voice seemed to be silenced by her own gasp. 

“Get up.” Crane’s voice demanded, the glare of his lens making it hard to see his expression as he tightened the grip against her wounds. He was well aware of the kind of reaction this could force out of the woman. She _ did _very strongly voice that she was a “masochistic adrenaline junkie,” after all; and Crane would be lying if he said that statement didn’t linger in his thoughts for a long moment during the conflict. 

“Only if you tell me what the hell you think you’re doing.”  
The pain was obviously beginning to get to her a bit despite her tone of voice. The pale skin of her cheeks began to darken up quite a bit the more he forced his fingers against the wound, and he found himself quite lucky that the light coming from the living room had brightened the area just enough to the point where he could see this blush clearly.  
Jonathan inwardly smiled at this, maintaining his usual strict demeanor in hopes to force this girl up out of pure intimidation. While aware that this wasn’t very likely to work, just the idea that he might be considered “more attractive” to the woman in this state made him curious to see how she may react instead. After all, no matter how much these guilt-ridden emotions had gotten to him—he was a fear obsessed psychiatrist and a fear obsessed psychiatrist _ first_. He needed to keep an eye on this woman’s every clinging emotion, and what better way to do so than to force her out of this awful little comfort zone?

“We’re going to talk, Kailey. Like adults.”

“I’ve said what I needed to.”   
Her blush darkened a bit as she attempted to force her arm from his iron grip, but found him only tensing up his hand to the point she was sure he would leave a bruise.   
  
“I quite doubt that… but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve hardly offered you a word. Or an apology for that matter.”

While it was hard to see Crane’s expression behind the glare of his circular glasses, Kailey could nearly swear to herself that his expression softened. Perhaps she was delusional after the withdrawal, but she couldn’t help that her heart rate began to speed from this little revelation. First the sudden, harsh contact with an open wound… and now he’s… acting almost _ kind _? Despite the crippling lack of feel-good chemicals rushing through her brain, she couldn’t deny that she was finding herself almost looking forward to where this interaction was going now.

There was a long pause as the woman continued to stare at Crane almost expectantly, simply waiting for him to speak again. As the moment lingered, she finally broke the stare to glance at the hand now gripping her aching arm, letting out a breath of defeat as she considered the situation more rationally. 

“Fine, say your peace.”  
The painful grip on her wounds had ceased almost instantly after she spoke, her arm falling to her side where she began to rub it.

“Well, I do wish to apologize, formally, about my impulsive actions. I won’t make excuses, and I won’t tell you it won’t happen again. But…” Crane turned his head as he took a moment, his jaw visibly clenching up a bit before he began to speak again.

“If it does happen again, I will make sure that you have your medication in your system… or perhaps a better substitute.”

“...” She just remained quiet, her eyes scanning his face, trying to understand the expression beneath the glare of the large glasses.   
Once again, silence drifted throughout the room as the pair exchanged so much as curt glances at each other. After nearly a full minute of the awkward looks, Kailey just began to shake her head, a hand on her temples.

“Honestly Doctor, I don’t really expect you to care and I think I would prefer it if you just… didn’t.”   
Finally Crane’s short glances turned into a fixed gaze, offering all of his attention now that she had a response to his apology. He’d never apologized so formally before, his pride simply wouldn’t allow it—well that and he’d never truly felt guilt for the entirety of his adulthood, making it completely pointless in the first place. It was only necessary now because he expected for the guilt to wash away the moment his lousy attempt at an apology left his lips; But of course, to his dismay, that heavy feeling in his chest was just as strong as ever, even after the moments of silence shared between the two. That’s why Kailey’s words were now key. Hearing the pleasant sound of her voice was now his last resort to getting rid of that pit in his chest.

“I have conflicting enough feelings for you as it is. The fact that you—a psychopath—are showing any kind of… empathy or guilt or whatever it is you might be feeling; well, that gives my sad little brain a weird kind of hope that I _ really _ don’t need right now. It’d be easier on me if you just left me alone or only treated me like some kind of experiment, okay? You don’t have to act like you care just because you’re using my shitty old apartment to hide.”  
She offered him this uneasy, melancholic smile in a strange attempt to comfort him, well aware that comforting wasn’t necessary in the first place. It simply felt like it was the best thing to do in this situation as the feeling of adrenaline drifted the moment his hand left her skin. She was no longer looking forward to the conversation as she had been before. She was just growing ever more tired of her surroundings, and more importantly, of Crane.   
Of course, the glare of his glasses that made it nearly impossible to see his expression only made the situation more tiresome. After all, she honestly wanted closure as much as he did (only for very different reasons), and not being able to see how he was reacting to her words only made the seconds ache all the more. He was an unreadable man as it was, making few movements in all other aspects of his face except his eyes… and she couldn’t even see _ those_.   
  
“You know I can’t do that.” The former psychiatrist spoke in that deadpan yet oh-so-smooth tone of his.   
While Kailey was somewhat caught off guard by his words, she was more trying to force herself out of the constant grip he held on her emotions. Something as simple as this act of “kindness” was likely to be a form of manipulation and there was no doubt in her mind about it… it was just her desperation and vulnerability that made it so hard to not want to follow along with his schemes.  
Perhaps she could simply feign ignorance in a ridiculous attempt to lose herself, to become his perfect little mindless specimen. He could use her and hurt her as much as she wanted, and as long as she was hopped up on adrenaline, she’d never feel that heavy pain in her heart ever again.

_ ...Why am I complaining again? _

“And why can’t you?”   
Kailey finally spoke up after her moments of silence as her brain came to a revelation. Her moments of silence were never intended to be rude… but her mind was simply _ so loud_—of course she would need a few moments to organize a response. 

“Because it would weigh heavy on my conscience.” 

Now it was Kailey’s turn to offer a deadpan expression. No matter how much that little voice in the back of her mind begged and screamed for her to just _ give in _ to his obvious manipulation, she couldn’t let herself. This felt _ wrong _ and even with the hazy moral compass she currently held onto, there was this guttural feeling that had apparently been the only part of her body that still held reason. 

“Now it just sounds like you’re mocking me, Jonathan.”  
All formalities were out the window now, as this was her way of making an even playing field. The potential shock of Crane hearing his first name leave this girl’s mouth so _ casually _ was something she wished to use to her advantage. Even with a depression-hazed mind, that feeling would hopefully help her play her moves right.

“I guarantee you that I’m not, Miss Kailey. The emotions I am currently feeling, although unfamiliar, are very real."

She could just feel her puffy eyes roll into the back of her head at his words. Everything about this absurd interaction just felt so _ fake_. How she could even have had any hope that he actually cared about her in any way other than just some experiment was beyond her. 

“You haven’t given me a single reason as to why I should believe anything you say, Doc. This isn’t any different.”

There was a short pause before Crane’s expression—not his eyes, but his full expression began to shift. He pursed his lips and his eyebrows furrowed as if he was thinking, the glare of his glasses still making the look in his eyes unreadable. After a moment or two, he finally spoke up again, his face shifting to the bed and now seeming to avoid eye-contact.

“Do you mind if I sit down? This may be a longer conversation than I had anticipated.” 

Kailey of course only offered a curt nod before he adjusted himself at the foot of the bed. Luckily for the girl, with the way Crane’s face was now positioned… she could just _ barely _ see how his eyes moved, meaning she could finally get a good idea of his _ real _ emotions. 

“Where to begin…” Crane sighed, seemingly mumbling to himself before bringing his gaze back up to focus on the girl.   
“Forgive me for my hesitation, I don’t particularly find myself opening up to people. I don’t much talk to even the psychiatrists at Arkham, no less any random medical students who pick me up on the side of the road after I nearly spray them with my fear toxin…

“You…” Another heavy sigh left the man’s thin lips as he tried to form his words. Even if Kailey was doing her best to hear his words with a grain of salt, she couldn’t deny that his words somehow felt much more sincere than before. 

“How do I say this? You… I suppose you remind me of myself.”

“That doesn’t make me feel too good about my future, Jon.” She spoke in a deadpan tone despite finally seeing the sincerity in Jonathan’s eyes.

“That’s not what I mean, girl.” His gaze drifted to hers, offering a short glare before staring back in front of him.

“I mean your fears, your insecurities, the way you isolate yourself. It’s similar to my own experiences; obviously I can only assume so much of your past from what you told me on that first night… but we are very similar people, Kailey. Perhaps that’s why you’re still alive, or perhaps that’s why I couldn’t help myself but to use my toxin on you; I wanted to see just how similar we were.”

Eventually Jonathan’s face turned out of view from the woman on the bed, beginning to massage his temples. Even if Kailey couldn’t see his expression nor his eyes, she could tell he seemed visibly… _ upset? _ She wasn’t sure what to call it but… he seemed frustrated, perhaps even melancholic. This had been the most emotion she’d seen out of him since he’d woken up with a concussion on her couch.

“I’m making excuses, I know. But… to know what you feared… to see you writhe like that from the nightmares. I needed to know. And I apologize.” 

His jaw clenched before he took off his glasses, finally looking at the girl directly in the eyes. There was no glare like before, there was no shield that could hide his emotions. 

“I see too much of myself in you.”

And at that moment, Kailey realized he was being sincere. 

This wasn’t manipulation. This wasn’t his way of lying or being the charismatic professor that helped him get what he wanted those many times before—No, this man, Jonathan Crane, _ the Scarecrow,_ genuinely saw himself in this sad medical student.

“Kailey, I… I grew up in a very religious household. I lived with my great-grandmother who detested my existence. I wasn’t able to do so much as read—at least I was _ told _ not to. I was bullied for being as… “scarecrow-like” as I am, and the moment I was able to be on my own, I isolated myself in school. I don’t believe I’ve made a meaningful human connection in my life and it doesn’t take a psychiatrist to tell someone that. 

“Then I see you isolating yourself and I believe I feel worry for someone other than myself. I haven’t seen you speak to a single person on your telephone and most rational people would probably have informed _ someone _ in their life that the “sinister Scarecrow” is keeping them hostage in their own home. Yet… you came home every day with a smile on your face as if you were _ happy _ to see me. You even got dressed up for me those few days ago.

“I would diagnose you with some kind of Stockholm Syndrome but… your environment mixed with your neurodivergence caused you to become infatuated with Scarecrow—perhaps because you felt a connection to what little information you had on me—perhaps you just found me interesting. But then you found me outside your apartment, _ hurt_, and although you’re not an evil person, although you’re not a _ dumb _person, you took me into your home with a smile… and I’m sure some of that was because of how awfully isolated you let yourself grow.

“My point is… your infatuation with me, Kailey, it’s a slippery slope… and dangerously similar to my own obsession with fear. You’re a smart, kind girl and you’ll be a fantastic doctor someday. Don’t let me ruin you any further.” 

There was a dull silence following Crane’s words. Kailey could only stare at his face, her bloodshot eyes remaining still as she began to hear her heartbeat roaring through her ears. The world was motionless…

Until a faint, breathy laugh left the woman’s dry lips. It didn’t seem sarcastic nor full of lunacy. It was just a genuine, short laugh.  
“Hearing you say that was kinda… therapeutic, ya know. Not that I agree with all of it… but it was nice to finally hear how you really feel about me, Jon.” 

Almost immediately, Jonathan’s expression turned to one of confusion. He furrowed his brows, opening his mouth slightly as he tried to process not only her reaction but her words.

“I… I don’t believe I know what you mean? I don’t recall saying anything of my feelings other than perhaps worry or guilt?”

“You said plenty. I know self-deprecating thoughts when I hear them. After all, you and I are quite alike, aren’t we?” She raised a brow, her exhausted expression becoming somewhat smug despite still holding a tinge of melancholy. 

The former professor only grew more confused by the moment, tilting his head slightly as he continued to make an attempt at understanding her words.  
“I’m sorry…?”

“You feel for me. It might not be love, it might not be romantic, and it sure as hell might not be sexual. But… you care about me to the point that you’re trying to save me from yourself. Because you know you’re not a good person, and you believe that _ you _ being around me is only going to harm me, even if maybe once or twice you found yourself enjoying my company, which is more than you can say about most people. Right?”

_“Excuse me?"_

Another chuckle left the woman’s lips before she began to adjust herself, moving her upper body closer to the man at the edge of her bed.

“You said it yourself, Jonathan. I’m not dumb. But I think you’re helping me more than you actually realize… and I think I might be helping you just as much. Maybe my medication decided to kick in at this moment, giving me a new sense of confidence, or maybe I’m feeling a little manic from the withdrawal, so forgive me if I come across as a bit brash; but I think we’re helping each other more than we’re harming each other—except for the whole drugging and withdrawal thing of course.

“Still… you said you don’t even open up to psychiatrists at Arkham, _ and _ you were beginning to feel worried for me. That’s _ really _ good that you were able to open up _and_ feel empathy towards someone.”

At this point, Jonathan found himself somewhat flustered by her words. The expression on his face screamed irritation but without his glasses, the fact that she could see the way he was avoiding her gaze… well, it spoke volumes, causing the woman to move just a bit closer to Jonathan the more she spoke. 

“And… please don’t make decisions for me, Jonathan. I’m _ well _ aware that my infatuation with you is weird and unhealthy. I’ve had _ weeks _ to dwell on that thought. But I can’t deny that your presence has made me a lot happier and more driven in these past few weeks than when I first moved to Gotham. I’m not very close to my family and it’s become pretty obvious at this point that I’m not very good at communicating with people unless I’m forced to; so you forcing me out of this isolation has been somewhat of a gift. I genuinely like your presence… and I think I’m probably gonna miss it when you’re healed.” 

Jonathan’s face moved back into the direction of the woman’s face, his strict expression finding its way back onto those sharp features. Blue eyes glanced at Kailey’s body, up and down, realizing how much closer she had now been. Her body had now been leaning towards him in an almost provocative motion, just waiting at this point to find a time when it was appropriate to crawl onto him. Considering her mildly revealing pajamas, he couldn’t help but find himself a bit flustered at the revelation; nonetheless his harsh expression remained strong.   
“Truthfully, I may leave much sooner than that.”

“Please don’t.”   
The girl crawled another inch closer, the heat of her breath now reaching his skin, a hint of melancholy in her voice. 

“And why shouldn’t I?”

Another inch… and Kailey’s face had finally been close enough to Crane’s own.

“Because I think you and I are a lot better for each other than we give ourselves credit for, Jon.” 

There was another moment of silence before the gap between them closed, and to Kailey’s surprise, she hadn't been the one who closed it. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed that and wanna read more, feel free to leave some Kudos or something. It means a lot especially since this story is entirely self indulgent.  
Oh yeah, and this is roughly what I based Crane's looks off of, except he's got darker hair and beady blue eyes uwu:  
https://yourfriendpolo.tumblr.com/image/166244770898  
https://yourfriendpolo.tumblr.com/image/169813755443  
https://yourfriendpolo.tumblr.com/image/166197570715  
Btw, he's not in his full Scarecrow getup when you meet him. I kinda imagined he looked like he does in Injustice 2 before he uses his Fear Toxin.  
And if you wanna know what I look like, probably check out my twitter bcuz I post selfies of myself a lot there: @etherthires


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